06/02/2026
Hard
I learned the hard way.
I learned I had to be tough. Hard.
I learned life can give and take just as easily.
So if you don't want to fall apart, you need to be strong. Hard.
I learned to do hard things.
I learned to harden my heart.
I learned to protect my body, to surround it with a hard shell.
I learned the only way to survive this life was to be hard.
To get ahead. To build the life I wanted. To fight hard.
To be the mom I wanted to be— be hard on them.
To have the husband I wanted— be hard on him.
And most of all, be hard on me.
Stay strong. Stay tough. Stay hard.
Being hard kept me safe.
Safe, but overwhelmed.
Safe, but exhausted.
Safe, but never really happy.
Safe, but disconnected.
Disconnected from the part of me that was soft.
The part that wanted to melt.
That desired to be loved.
That wanted to let people in.
The part that wanted to rest.
To receive.
To be taken care of.
The part that wanted to let loose.
Let go. Be free.
I didn't want to be the soft one.
I didn't want to be taken advantage of.
I didn't want to be used.
So I chose safe over soft.
Safe over open.
Safe over free.
But the truth is, I never had to choose. I just needed to allow.
Allow myself to remember... Me.
