Dr. Moreen Rubin

Dr. Moreen Rubin Specialist in Eating Disorders ● Trauma ● Addictions & Recovery ● Parenting ● Relationships

It often starts with something big hitting hard. That event sets off strong emotions inside us that are hard to handle, ...
03/22/2024

It often starts with something big hitting hard. That event sets off strong emotions inside us that are hard to handle, so we seek ways and people to help calm those feelings.

Along the way, the people we turn to might say things that make the hurt even worse. Like, "You just need to..." or "You should..."

If only it were that easy.

As time passes, their words linger in our thoughts. Combined with feelings of shame, this frequently results in a situation many survivors face: feeling hurt in the wrong ways.

When that validation doesn't come, that part of you needed someone to say, "This is NOT okay!" or "You were not meant for this!"

When we don't get that support, we learn to shut down our feelings to protect ourselves.

That part of you:

🔸They're scared.
🔸They're tired.
🔸They're innocent.
🔸They're lonely.
🔸They're defensive.
🔸They're just trying to avoid getting hurt again. The intensity you feel is how they're surviving. The confusion you feel stems from how so many could dismiss your innocence.

Your healing isn't about proving those people wrong. It's about telling that scared part of you some good news:

🔹It wasn't their fault.
🔹You want both of you to feel better.
🔹Their innocence is still there.
🔹You're the one they've been waiting for.

And it feels like a weight off your shoulders.

It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Sending peace as you welcome your hurt self home.💖

Ever felt stuck blaming yourself for stuff that wasn't even your fault❓It's about time we cut ourselves some slack and l...
02/27/2024

Ever felt stuck blaming yourself for stuff that wasn't even your fault❓

It's about time we cut ourselves some slack and let go of all that self-hate. We don't need to keep carrying around the weight of someone else's mistakes.

Let's give ourselves permission to move on and start loving ourselves a little more. 💞

Going through trauma can sometimes make us settle for less than we deserve.But hey, you DESERVE the best life has to off...
02/22/2024

Going through trauma can sometimes make us settle for less than we deserve.

But hey, you DESERVE the best life has to offer. You're MORE than enough, and you deserve ALL the good stuff coming your way! 💞

Dealing with a narcissist can sometimes feel like walking on eggshells, especially when it comes to calling them out on ...
02/19/2024

Dealing with a narcissist can sometimes feel like walking on eggshells, especially when it comes to calling them out on their actions.

Their ego is as fragile as glass, and they've built up this whole facade of perfection or superiority. So when you shatter that illusion, they go into full-on defense mode.

But here are some strategies you can use to cope:

🚫 Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from their manipulation or abusive behavior. Stick to your boundaries firmly, even if they try to push back.

💭 Maintain Perspective: Remember that their behavior is not a reflection of your worth. Narcissists often project their insecurities onto others, so try not to take their words or actions personally.

🤝 Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and guidance. Having a support system can help you navigate difficult interactions with a narcissist.

🧘‍♂️ Practice Self-Care: Prioritize your own well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Practice mindfulness, exercise regularly, and make time for hobbies or interests that fulfill you.

☮️ Stay Calm: Narcissists thrive on drama and conflict, so try to remain calm and composed during interactions with them. Avoid engaging in arguments or power struggles, as this only fuels their behavior.

🚶‍♂️ Limit Contact: If possible, minimize contact with the narcissist to reduce the impact of their toxicity on your life. This may involve setting boundaries around communication or avoiding situations where you're likely to encounter them.

🌟 Focus on Yourself: Redirect your energy towards your own goals, passions, and personal growth. By focusing on building a fulfilling life for yourself, you can lessen the power that the narcissist's behavior has over you.

Remember that coping with a narcissist can be an ongoing process, and it's important to prioritize your own well-being above all else.

02/15/2024

Sometimes the hard decision is the right decision. 😭

At some point in your life you will feel regret, shame, or guilt for making a positive choice for your life.

It’s understandable. You may think of yourself as selfish, but it’s important to remember that not all choices will be easy choices. 💙

Sometimes the right choice will hurt like hell.

It’s okay to feel grief, and to be upset when you choose to make a hard decision.

We must use our power of choice in order to live the life we deserve. 👈

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