Peter H. Anderson, LMFT

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Peter Anderson
Founder, Family Connection Project
Family estrangement • conflict • reconciliation
LMFT | Professor | Speaker
👇 Courses & resources
Stan Store for coaching: https://stan.store/peterandersonlmft
website: https://familyconnectionproject.org

If you spend three hours a day thinking about why your child cut you off, that's approximately 1,095 hours a year.That's...
11/03/2026

If you spend three hours a day thinking about why your child cut you off, that's approximately 1,095 hours a year.

That's 46 full days.

More than a month and a half of your life every year spent trying to understand something you may never fully know.

But here's the question: Has all that thinking brought you any closer to peace?

Or have you simply found yourself returning to the same questions, over and over again?

— Peter H. Anderson, LMFT

11/03/2026

Rumination can consume an excessive amount of your life. How much longer are you willing to give it?

If I were to tell you why your child cut you off, would you want to know?Most parents would say yes.But here's the dilem...
11/02/2026

If I were to tell you why your child cut you off, would you want to know?

Most parents would say yes.

But here's the dilemma: What if having that answer neither comforted nor helped you?

We often believe that understanding why we're suffering will bring us peace.

But certainty does not always bring comfort in grief or loss.

Sometimes, learning to live with uncertainty does.

— Peter H. Anderson, LMFT

10/26/2026

From my psy text book that I am teaching from today. Couldn't agree with it more!

Human Diversity and Faulty Concepts

One of the challenges associated with concepts relates to the fact that they do not always accurately reflect reality. For example, social stereotypes are oversimplified concepts of groups of people that do not properly account for their diversity. Assuming that all introverts are socially awkward or that all politicians are dishonest might help people process information quickly, but such assumptions often lead to bias, discrimination, and misunderstandings (Heilman et al., 2024). (Stereotypes have a major impact on social behavior and frequently contribute to prejudice. Refer to Section 15.3 for more information.)

A related problem is all-or-nothing thinking in relation to concepts and categories. In this case, we classify issues (and people!) into simplistic binary categories such as absolutely right or wrong, good or bad, fair or unfair, honest or dishonest. Thinking this way prevents us from appreciating the subtleties associated with most of the issues and problems that we confront in everyday life. It also stops us from recognizing the value of opinions offered by people who may not agree with us on every single point. For example, dismissing someone as “completely immoral” because they disagree with you on a single issue (say, immigration) may prevent you from ever realizing that you share values related to other important problems (say, the need to protect the environment) on which you might work together to bring about meaningful change. When viewing the world through this all-or-nothing lens, then, we miss important opportunities (Kish Bar-On, 2024).

Faulty concepts such as stereotypes and all-or-nothing thinking are hallmarks of the polarized social and political climate in which we now live. Citizens increasingly view political opponents not just as having different priorities or alternative viewpoints on some issues but as fundamentally misguided, malicious, or immoral. Complex policy concerns become reduced to simplistic “left” versus “right” positions, with little acknowledgment of the middle ground or shared values that often exist across people from different parties. Unfortunately, social media and biased media outlets amplify these faulty concepts, reducing individuals and nuanced issues to simplistic stories that encourage division rather than dialogue. Overcoming this problem requires us to construct conceptual frameworks that accommodate complexity and recognize individual variation—a skill that is becoming increasingly important for navigating our diverse, interconnected world (Fernbach & Van Boven, 2022).

10/26/2026

Two ways you can respect yourself.

10/22/2026

Is someone asking you for an apology—or demanding a confession?

One can lead to healing. The other may only produce guilt.

10/21/2026

We don’t appreciate mainly because we become habituated to our environment. Build a sense of gratitude.

10/14/2026

What does wokeness have to do with family cutoff? Well, it views the world through a lens of oppressors and the oppressed. Let’s dissect that.

10/13/2026

How much do you agree or disagree with this statement: ending contact can be a legitimate form of self-care, even when there has been no physical violence or severe abuse. That’s the question. We asked both parents and adult children who cut off their parents. Very different results.

10/10/2026

Did you know Pharisees liked cutoff as well? Yep.

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1
Beverly, MA
01915

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