Yvette Erasmus, PsyD

Yvette Erasmus, PsyD Deeper relationships begin with courageous conversations, starting within. Transform your inner critic into a compassionate guide. Words have power.

Speak with courage; show up authentically; build meaningful connections. I’ll teach you how to use them Practices, guidance and inspiration to support you in developing your consciousness, compassion, courage, choice and co-creative capacities

Releasing Self BlameWhen life takes a frightening turn, self-blame can arrive quietly:“I should have done better.” “I s...
09/04/2026

Releasing Self Blame

When life takes a frightening turn, self-blame can arrive quietly:

“I should have done better.”
“I should have taken better care of myself.”
“I should have prevented this.”

But we are not meant to do life perfectly.

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, Liza and I explore the emotional weight of a serious health diagnosis ... including the challenge of releasing self-judgment and receiving support after years of being the one who gives it.

This conversation offers a compassionate reminder:

We can acknowledge what is happening without turning against ourselves.
We can let others support us without making them responsible for us.
And we can stay connected even when none of us knows exactly what comes next.

🎧 Episode 161: How to Love Your Children Through Uncertainty ... Without Burdening Them
https://zurl.co/8lNfk

When life takes an unexpected turn, how do we stay connected to the people we love without overwhelming them?Today's episode asks exactly that.  Liza, mother of 3 navigating a serious health diagnosis, wrestles with how to talk to her adult c...

One Family, Different Coping Styles The people we love may respond very differently when life becomes uncertain.One pers...
09/02/2026

One Family, Different Coping Styles

The people we love may respond very differently when life becomes uncertain.

One person may want to talk openly.
Another may become fearful.
Someone else may withdraw.

Different responses don’t necessarily mean different amounts of love. They may reflect different emotional capacities and ways of coping.

In this deeply human episode of Conversations from the Heart, Liza and I talk about navigating a serious health diagnosis while staying connected to adult children who each respond in their own way.

We explore how to honor those differences without over-functioning, shutting down, or carrying everything alone.

Love doesn’t always look calm or coordinated. Sometimes it looks messy, tender, and real.

🎧 Episode 161: How to Love Your Children Through Uncertainty ... Without Burdening Them
https://zurl.co/OUbad

When life takes an unexpected turn, how do we stay connected to the people we love without overwhelming them?Today's episode asks exactly that.  Liza, mother of 3 navigating a serious health diagnosis, wrestles with how to talk to her adult c...

Protecting vs Including When something serious enters our lives, our instinct may be to protect the people we love.We so...
08/31/2026

Protecting vs Including

When something serious enters our lives, our instinct may be to protect the people we love.

We soften the truth.
Hold back our needs.
Try not to overwhelm them.

But when we protect others from reality, we may also create distance between us.

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, Liza and I explore how to share difficult truths with our children without making them responsible for our emotional well-being.

A gentle shift we can practice:

Instead of asking, “How do I protect them from this?”

We can ask, “What is true for me, and how can I share it in a way that invites connection?”

🎧 Episode 161: How to Love Your Children Through Uncertainty ... Without Burdening Them
https://zurl.co/cD0Ad

When life takes an unexpected turn, how do we stay connected to the people we love without overwhelming them?Today's episode asks exactly that.  Liza, mother of 3 navigating a serious health diagnosis, wrestles with how to talk to her adult c...

Staying Warm Without Losing Yourself Caring for someone does not require becoming responsible for their feelings.We can ...
08/28/2026

Staying Warm Without Losing Yourself

Caring for someone does not require becoming responsible for their feelings.

We can stay warm without overextending.
Remain connected without becoming enmeshed.
Respect our limits without shutting down.

This balance between care and self-respect ... between attachment and autonomy ... is one of the most challenging relational skills we practice.

A small, honest boundary can sound like:

“I want to stay connected, and I also need a little space to remain grounded.”

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, Adele and I explore how to recognize what irritation, discomfort, and distancing may be protecting ... and how to repair the moments when we don’t show up in ways that feel good to us.

We don’t have to choose between caring for others and staying connected to ourselves.

🎧 Episode 160: Care Without Collapse: Staying Warm Without Losing Yourself
https://zurl.co/IULl5

What happens when we feel pressure to care, but we really don't?In this episode, we explore the tension between wanting to be emotionally available, while also wanting to protect boundaries regarding our energy and sense of self.We unpack how our ...

The Trap of Performative Care We can say all the “right” things and still feel disconnected.When we try to sound warm, r...
08/26/2026

The Trap of Performative Care

We can say all the “right” things and still feel disconnected.

When we try to sound warm, respond perfectly, or offer the support we think we should provide, care can quietly become a performance.

We may sound kind ... but it doesn’t feel real.

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, Adele and I explore a different question.

Instead of asking:

“How can I be more supportive?”

We can ask:

“What is actually true for me right now ... and how can I express that kindly?”

Authentic care might sound like:

“I care about you, and I’m not sure what to say.”
“I want to be here, and I’m also noticing my limits.”
“I’m feeling overwhelmed, but I don’t want to disconnect.”

Real connection doesn’t begin with a perfect response. It begins with honesty.

🎧 Episode 160: Care Without Collapse
https://zurl.co/d2zXo

What happens when we feel pressure to care, but we really don't?In this episode, we explore the tension between wanting to be emotionally available, while also wanting to protect boundaries regarding our energy and sense of self.We unpack how our ...

When Caring Feels Like Pressure Sometimes someone we care about is struggling ... and instead of leaning in, we feel our...
08/24/2026

When Caring Feels Like Pressure

Sometimes someone we care about is struggling ... and instead of leaning in, we feel ourselves pull back.

We tighten.
Shut down.
Become irritated.
Or feel an urge to fix the situation and escape it.

Then we judge ourselves for not being more caring.

But these reactions may not mean that we don’t care. They may be intelligent forms of protection ... trying to preserve our energy, maintain our boundaries, or prevent us from taking on more than is ours.

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, Adele and I explore how to care for others without collapsing into their emotional world.

This isn’t about becoming less caring. It’s about finding a form of care that is honest, grounded, and sustainable.

🎧 Episode 160: Care Without Collapse: Staying Warm Without Losing Yourself
https://zurl.co/OnW1w

What happens when we feel pressure to care, but we really don't?In this episode, we explore the tension between wanting to be emotionally available, while also wanting to protect boundaries regarding our energy and sense of self.We unpack how our ...

Perfect Words Cannot Guarantee Connection There’s often a hidden expectation underneath our efforts to communicate well:...
08/21/2026

Perfect Words Cannot Guarantee Connection

There’s often a hidden expectation underneath our efforts to communicate well:

“If I explain it clearly enough, kindly enough, and carefully enough… they will understand me.”

Sometimes they do.

And sometimes they can’t.

Other people bring their own nervous systems, histories, limits, and emotional capacity into every conversation. Even our most thoughtful communication cannot control how they respond.

The deeper practice is learning to stay with ourselves when connection doesn’t happen the way we hoped.

Someone else’s defensiveness can be information about where they are, not a verdict on our worth or the validity of our experience.

In this episode, we explore a steadier kind of connection, one that doesn’t require us to abandon ourselves while trying to reach someone else.

🎧 Episode 159: When Connection Strategies Backfire
https://zurl.co/C0beV

In this episode, we dive into those moments when we’re upset and reach for connection, but instead of closeness, we get distance, defensiveness, or overwhelm.And somehow, trying harder only makes it worse.We explore what’s really happening in thos...

When Communication Is A Form Of Regulation Sometimes what looks like communication is actually an attempt to regulate ou...
08/19/2026

When Communication Is A Form Of Regulation

Sometimes what looks like communication is actually an attempt to regulate our nervous system.

When we’re anxious, hurt, or overwhelmed, we may feel an urgent need to reach out, explain, or get a response.

Underneath it is a deeply human longing:

“Please help me settle.”

There’s nothing wrong with that need. But when our urgency is directed repeatedly at another person, it can land as pressure, and create the very distance we were hoping to close.

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, we explore how to recognize this pattern with compassion and create a “pause container” before acting:

• Write the message without sending it
• Say what you’re feeling out loud
• Process with someone safe
• Name what you’re truly needing

🎧 Episode 159: When Connection Strategies Backfire
https://zurl.co/k5zs9

In this episode, we dive into those moments when we’re upset and reach for connection, but instead of closeness, we get distance, defensiveness, or overwhelm.And somehow, trying harder only makes it worse.We explore what’s really happening in thos...

When Trying Harder Creates DistanceSometimes we reach for connection, and somehow end up feeling even more alone.We send...
08/17/2026

When Trying Harder Creates Distance

Sometimes we reach for connection, and somehow end up feeling even more alone.

We send the message.
We explain what happened.
We try again.

But instead of closeness, we’re met with distance, defensiveness, or overwhelm.

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, Daisy, Nadi, and I explore why our attempts to connect sometimes push people away, especially when our nervous system is activated and our need to be met feels urgent.

This isn’t about blaming ourselves or becoming perfect communicators.

It’s about recognizing when trying harder is creating more pressure, and learning how to pause without abandoning what we feel or need.

🎧 Episode 159: When Connection Strategies Backfire
https://zurl.co/L6Nyw

In this episode, we dive into those moments when we’re upset and reach for connection, but instead of closeness, we get distance, defensiveness, or overwhelm.And somehow, trying harder only makes it worse.We explore what’s really happening in thos...

Needs Are Not The Same As StrategiesOur needs are valid.Our preferred way of getting them met is not the only possible w...
08/14/2026

Needs Are Not The Same As Strategies

Our needs are valid.

Our preferred way of getting them met is not the only possible way.

That distinction can transform a relationship.

For example:

Need: connection
Strategy: “I need you to validate me in this exact way.”

When we confuse a need with one particular strategy, requests can begin to feel like demands ... and connection can turn into a power struggle.

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, we explore how to name what we truly need without trying to control how another person responds.

We also practice a different way of loving:

• Staying present with our emotions
• Naming what is true without requiring agreement
• Allowing differences without fixing, withdrawing, or collapsing

🎧 Episode 158: The Trap of Being a "Good" Partner
https://zurl.co/rSntT

What if trying to be a “good partner” is actually hurting your relationship?In this episode, we explore a powerful and often invisible dynamic:how self-sacrifice, overgiving, and emotional suppression can quietly erode connection.When one partner ...

Address

3800 American Boulevard West
Bloomington, MN
55431

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Yvette Erasmus, PsyD posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Yvette Erasmus, PsyD:

Shortcuts

Share