Tondre Therapeutics

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Bozeman, MT
Tondre Therapeutics

Welcome to Tondre Therapeutic Coaching + Consulting's newest program: THE ADOPTIVE AND FOSTER PARENT TRAUMA TRANSFORMATION.

Keli Tondre and her team supports adoptive and foster parents who have experienced trauma in their parenting journey.

06/21/2026

Happy Father's Day to all of the dads, grandfathers, foster dads, adoptive dads, kinship caregivers, and father figures in this community.

I know today can hold a lot of different emotions. For some, it's a day of celebration. For others, it's a reminder of loss, grief, strained relationships, or the weight of the responsibility you carry every day.

If you're parenting children impacted by trauma, you are often asked to give more than you ever imagined possible and much of that work happens quietly, behind closed doors, and often goes unnoticed.

Today, I hope you take a moment to recognize what God already sees.

"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." — Galatians 6:9

Thank you for continuing to show up, even when it's hard. Thank you for choosing love when it's costly. Thank you for being a steady presence in the lives of children who need one.

Praying today that you would experience moments of rest, encouragement, and the reminder that your faithfulness matters—even on the days it doesn't feel like it.

Happy Father's Day. ❤️

06/19/2026

Juneteenth is a day to honor freedom, remember history, and recognize that the work of justice and equality continues.

Today, I pause to reflect on the resilience, strength, and immeasurable contributions of the Black community—past and present. May we continue learning, listening, and choosing to build a future marked by dignity, compassion, and hope.

Happy Juneteenth. ❤️🖤💚

06/17/2026

I can't tell you how many parents I've talked to who know exactly what boundary needs to be set and still cannot bring themselves to do it.
Usually it isn't because they don't understand boundaries. It's also not because they haven't read the ALL the books or attended the trainings. More often than not, it's because they feel guilty.
They feel guilty about their child's trauma. Guilty about what their child has lost. Guilty about the impact adoption, foster care, or early adversity has had on their life. Guilty about how exhausted they feel. Guilty about their frustration. Guilty about the effect this is having on their other children. Guilty that they sometimes wish things were different.
The challenge is that guilt often disguises itself as wisdom. It sounds responsible. It sounds compassionate. It sounds loving. But guilt frequently asks parents to tolerate situations that are damaging their family. It encourages them to abandon boundaries, ignore their own needs, and continue sacrificing long after the sacrifice has become unhealthy.
One of the biggest shifts I see in parents happens when they learn to acknowledge guilt without giving it authority. They can feel guilty and still set the boundar, still say no, and still make decisions that are best for the family as a whole. That may sound simple, but for many parents it's not.
If you can relate, please reach out. Guilt should not be writing your life's story... YOU should be.

06/15/2026

I don't think many parents set out intending for their family to revolve around one child.
It happens gradually. Maybe one child requires more appointments, more advocacy, more supervision, more emotional energy, more crisis management, or simply more attention because life feels so fragile. Over time, everyone in the family begins adapting around that reality. Vacations become harder (or, in many cases non-existent). Social activities become harder or just easier to avoid. Decisions get filtered through one question: "How is this child going to respond?"
I see parents carry a tremendous amount of guilt when they begin noticing this dynamic. They worry that acknowledging it means they don't love their child enough. It doesn't. It simply means they are recognizing the reality of what has happened. Many of the adoptive and foster parents I know are grieving the impact that years of chronic stress have had on their marriage, their friendships, their health, their careers, and their relationships with their other children.
One of the things we talk about often in my program is that helping one child cannot come at the expense of everyone else in the family. That doesn't mean abandoning a struggling child. It means recognizing that every member of the family matters. The wellbeing of parents matters. The wellbeing of siblings matters. Healthy families cannot be built around one person's needs alone.
For some parents, simply admitting that out loud feels like taking their first full breath in years.

06/12/2026

🤍 these sweet babies…

06/11/2026

I shared with you a couple of days ago a bit of my story. For a long time, I thought I was burned out... And maybe I was.
But there was something deeper happening too.
I was carrying years of uncertainty, hypervigilance, grief, disappointment, fear, and responsibility. I was constantly scanning for problems, anticipating needs, preparing for the next challenge.
At some point I realized I wasn't simply tired. My nervous system had adapted to living in survival mode.
That distinction was profound for me because, what I have learned is, while exhaustion needs rest, survival mode needs much more.
Now, I live with peace and joy and love to share it with my family and other families like mine 🤍

06/08/2026

There was a season of my life when I could barely function.
I wasn't enjoying my family. I wasn't showing up the way I wanted to. I wasn't taking care of myself. I wasn't dreaming about the future. I wasn't excited about much of anything.
At the time, I didn't fully understand what was happening. I thought I needed to try harder. Be more disciplined. Get my act together. But I had nothing left in me.
What I understand now is that years of chronic stress had changed me.
It took my energy. It took my joy. It took my ability to stay present and connected to the people I loved most.
One of the reasons I care so deeply about this work is because I know what it feels like to become a version of yourself that you barely recognize. And I know what it feels like to slowly find your way back.
If you've been wondering what happened to the person you used to be, that question deserves more than criticism. It deserves curiosity.

06/04/2026

Our sweet Toulah is nearing the end of her life.

She has advanced heart disease. She still wags her tail when we walk through the door. She still enjoys being with us. And every once in a while, she surprises us with a burst of energy that makes us forget, for a moment, how much things have changed.

Over the last few months, I've found myself holding two truths at the same time: she is still here, and she is also not well.

As I've sat with that tension, I've thought about how often I've sat with a similar tension as a parent.

A child can be deeply loved and still hurting.

A parent can be doing everything possible and still not be able to make things better, to undo a hurt their child has experienced or replace a parent they long for.

There can be moments of joy, connection, and hope while something important is also profoundly sad.

One of the hardest things we are ever asked to do in this life is stop arguing with reality and begin accepting it.

Acceptance is not the same thing as hopelessness. It is simply the willingness to see clearly what is here, to feel it, to welcome it—to recognize the pain in moments of suffering and joy when glimmers of light and love shine brightly 🤍

Lately, this has been my work: to appreciate the moments that are still good and to grieve what is changing. I am trying to be present to both at the same time.

And to remember that love and grief are not opposites. More often than not, grief is simply what love feels like when something precious is changing.

06/02/2026

There is a question I ask parents sometimes:
Who were you before all of this?
Before the appointments, the school meetings, the therapies, the endless research, the advocacy, the crises, the sleepless nights, and the constant feeling that something else is about to happen.
The answers are often surprisingly emotional.
"I used to laugh more."
"I used to have hobbies."
"I used to be spontaneous."
"I used to enjoy being around people."
One of the hardest parts of chronic stress is that it happens slowly. We adapt to it. We accommodate it. We survive it. And before long, we can hardly remember what it felt like to live differently.
If you've found yourself grieving parts of who you used to be, you're not alone.

05/27/2026

So proud of my brother and his team at DeliverFund. Did you know an estimated 60% of all persons who are trafficked in the US have a history in the foster care system?

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141 Discovery Drive
Bozeman, MT
59718

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http://tondretherapeutics.com/

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