Zahavah Fishfeld, LMHC

06/14/2026

This is for you if you're reactive or become emotionally disregulated when something happens.

06/11/2026

You feel pressure to prove your worth.

You gave up on trying to prove yourself.

If you can relate, this is for you.

06/09/2026

06/07/2026

If you communicate in a clear and effective way, you get to decide what comes next.

If someone mistreats you and will ignore that fact, even after you communicate it, that's how they choose to represent themselves.

Make sure not to decide how someone will react. Give them the opportunity to show you.

06/03/2026

There are always so many reasons why you can't.

The timing, your energy level, your to-do list, stressors and so much more.

Something else that gets in the way is hoping. Hoping that things just go in the direction you'd like, can stop you from doing what's best for yourself.

Focusing on all the possible negative situations won't be helpful to you at all! How many of the negative situations you plan for will actually happen? Most people won't experience them and even if they do, the percentage of what actually comes true is usually a small percentage.

Remember, if your going to predict all the negative, it's only fair to do the same with the positive.

05/27/2026

Wrong and wrong again.

Why? Because it's healthy and okay to give if you can set boundaries.

Boundaries can be set before you begin giving. It may also happen in the process of giving when you aren't feeling good about all the giving.

You are allowed to say no and you are also allowed to change your mind. Both don't make you into a bad person.

You may have a period of time where you learn what you can balance, helping you to say no right away when you know it doesn't work for you. There will be a wishy washy period while you navigate this. You will come out feeling a sense of clarity and confidence.

On the other hand, asking those for help who you know struggle with saying no is taking advantage of someone weaker than you. You may not be thinking about it to deeply. You are consciously creating an unfair balance. You are okay with it based on your actions.

This also extends to taking others up on their offer to help because they are genuinely nice, when you know you are only in the relationship for taking when it's convenient for you. You aren't on the giving end.

Some may refer to this as "using" others. Ask yourself why you are comfortable with this?

It's okay if you have your struggles. It's not okay to hurt others.

05/25/2026

You may be struggling but you don't have to feel powerless.

You don't need to judge yourself or accept judgments from others.

Anyone judging you has lots to say about you... and others.

Take one thought at a time and challenge it.

Take one safe space or person at a time and feel it.

You are not your past.

Neither will you stay in your present.

You didn't choose the people or situations where these thoughts first started.

But you get to choose your people and situations now.

Continue growing.

Also, is it fair to only focus on the negative parts of yourself? What if you allowed yourself to be in touch with the positive parts?

05/24/2026

Not making a decision is making a decision. If you have two options to choose from and the door closes for one of them, that leaves you with the other choice. You chose it by "not choosing."

When it comes to change, here are two perspectives:

One big decision is if it would be easier for you to visualize your future and invest the work to get there by taking proactive steps. This includes exploring what's holding you back.

Another way to approach growth is to recognize what no longer suits you (or ever did.) This includes exploring what keeps stopping you from setting boundaries and communicating what's important to you.

05/18/2026

Imagine being in a boxing match but you just stand there and have punches flying at you, one after the next.

Why would you do that? Do you relate to any of these why's?

It is so much easier short term to be hopeful it will end.

It hurts too much to acknowledge you've been on the receiving end of pain without intervening.

You are just tired.

Whatever the reason, if someone is truly sorry they hurt you why do they continue to hurt you?

Even in a relationship that hasn't worked to well or was healthy unhealthy until a certain time period, you may need to set boundaries and make changes.

Otherwise, the behaviors will continue.

*these are ideas and may not be relevant to everyone and neither is this a substitute for therapy

05/17/2026

If you feel like you don't matter, ask yourself this.

Why is the next person's needs more important than your own?

The math doesn't math.

In a healthy relationship, there will be times you can prioritize each other and other times it won't work.

If you feel you don't use your voice and prioritize your needs, here's a tip.

First, communicate. For all you know, they may have never noticed just because they are not mind readers.

It is hard to mindread and in a relationship, the other person may just take things at face value.

You may be pleasantly surprised or you may be hit with the hard truth.

But, at least you'll know where you stand.

Next, if the communication goes well, keep on using your voice. It will take work on your end, simply because it will feel out of your comfort zone. The more you speak up, the easier it will get.

If it doesn't go well, you know what to do and what's best for you, even if it feels so difficult. The only way to have healthy relationships is to be in them.