ADHD with Angie

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ADHD with Angie

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Advanced Certified ADHD Life Coach. Proud ADHD’er. Host of the ADHD Scapegoat Podcast.

11/01/2026

You want to enjoy the holidays, connect with family & make happy memories.
Instead, you're watching for the next dig, passive-aggressive comment, deliberate exclusion, or the moment someone turns a celebration into another opportunity to put you in your place.
This is how bullying & coercive control can show up in family dynamics this time of year.

When someone feels their influence slipping, they may use intimidation, humiliation, guilt, exclusion, or conflict to reassert control.
When others stay silent or even join in, the pressure on the targeted person grows.

This holiday season, pay attention to the patterns:
🔸 Notice the timing: Does the bullying surface when you're enjoying yourself, receiving attention, setting boundaries, or connecting with others?
🔸 Recognize the tactics: Are comments, exclusion, baiting, or sudden conflict being used to undermine you or influence how others see you?
🔸 Watch what happens when you push back: Does the behavior escalate, turn into retaliation, or get reframed as your fault?

You shouldn't have to spend the holidays managing someone else's intimidation to keep everyone else comfortable.

Recognize the pattern.
Trust what you're seeing & experiencing.

You are not responsible for keeping the peace with someone who repeatedly creates the chaos. 🧠 🐐

10/31/2026

When someone calls your boundaries punishment and your attempts to address mistreatment an attack on their reputation, they're shifting the conversation away from their behavior and forcing you to defend intentions you never had.

10/30/2026

When you’re being bullied, it isn't just what the main aggressor does to you.
It's realizing they've also been shaping how everyone else sees you.

They hurt you - then explain why you deserved it.
They provoke a reaction - then point to your reaction as the problem.
They cross a boundary - then tell people you're difficult.
They make you feel unsafe - then use your attempts to protect yourself as evidence that something is wrong with you.

You don't realize it until you're trying to explain what ACTUALLY happened & the other people just aren’t listening.

It's because they’ve already heard the bully’s version.

They pretend nothing happened.
They look away.
They are silent.
But their silence doesn't make the bullying stop.

It leaves the person being targeted to face it alone.

Think about what that does to someone.

You start questioning yourself.
You replay conversations because you know your words were twisted.
You wonder who has heard what about you.
You stop reaching out because you don't know who you can trust.
You may find yourself defending your character to people who never bothered to ask you what happened.

The bully gets protection from any consequences.
The people staying silent get to protect their comfort.
While the person being bullied is left alone with all the pain & betrayal.

You cannot understand what is really going on based on one argument.
And you will never get the truth from ONLY one version of the story being told.

Pause & take a step back to see everything.
Look at the pattern.
Look at the timeline.
Look at the sequence of events.

Once you see the pattern, the story they’ve been telling completely falls apart. 🧠 🐐

10/29/2026

🎙️ New episode out now 🎙️

10/29/2026

🎙️ New episode out now 🎙️

10/29/2026

One mistake is human.
Twice is a choice.
Three times is who they are.

Patterns tell you more than promises ever will.
Lean into what someone consistently does, not just what they say when confronted.

At some point, giving the benefit of the doubt means ignoring the evidence. 🫣

Repeated behavior is information.
Pay attention to what it's telling you.

Trust the pattern.
The pattern is the evidence.
The question is whether you're ready to trust what you're seeing. 🧠 🐐

10/28/2026

If someone repeatedly hurts you while offering excuses and explanations, you don't need to diagnose them, prove they're a bad person, or understand their intentions before acknowledging the harm and protecting yourself.

10/28/2026

One of the most dangerous misconceptions about threats is that they must be part of an argument. But you don't have to provoke someone for their threats to escalate.

No back-&-forth.
No response from you.
But the messages keep coming.

8:07pm. 11:18pm. Then 7:31am the next day.
Almost 12 hours apart.
No response from me.
Yet the language escalated from hostility to explicit instructions to end myself.

That is not a mutual argument.
It is a pattern of escalating hostility in the absence of ANY exchange.

And when threats are accompanied by references to fi****ms, previous threats involving weapons, or language designed to make someone fear for their safety, that deserves a serious risk assessment - & should NEVER be dismissed as someone simply being angry.
Not excuses, minimization, or questions about what the person being threatened did to provoke it.

Their anger isn't driven by your actions.
It is driven by internal rage & perceived narcissistic injury.
It's the panic of being exposed. 💣

The important questions are:
Is the behavior escalating?
Are the threats becoming more explicit or specific?
Are fi****ms or other weapons being referenced or used to intimidate?
Is there a history of threats or violence?
Is the person making threats showing signs of fixation, retaliation, or an inability to accept boundaries?

Threats are behavior.
Escalation without provocation is information.

Recognize the pattern.
Assess the risk.
Take threats seriously. 🧠 🐐 💜

10/27/2026

Last week on the , I discussed Mica’s List which details the coercive control & abuse Mica Francis documented before her death.
This tactic stood out to me - because I've experienced a version of it myself. 🙄

JP Miller had an attorney write & send a cease-and-desist letter to Mica - demanding that she stop talking bad about JP & the church or suffer legal ramifications.
He also sent one to Mica’s friend, Charlotte, demanding she stop speaking about him & surrender her evidence.
After Mica’s death, he continued threatening legal action against anyone exposing his conduct.

Using legal intimidation to enforce silence.
Classic coercive control move.

Abusers use legal posturing by claiming things like harassment, stalking, defamation & slander - to flip the narrative.
In my case, they label public education, a podcast, or personal transparency as "an attack" because they cannot control your voice.

The Accusations:
• Harassment & Stalking: Targeting someone to intimidate, cause fear, or control them.
• Defamation & Slander: Spreading false statements to intentionally ruin someone.

The Reality: I did none of those things. But he has.

• Who sent the repeated threatening messages?
• Who made multiple graphic insults using deplorable & offensive language?
• Who said “both of you can kill over dead as far as I’m concerned” & referenced fi****ms?

Sending death threats, graphic insults, & demanding your silence is harassment.
Documenting the harm done to you on your own platform is not.

Describing actual text messages, public records, & a timeline of events isn't defamation - it's documentation.

Receiving dehumanizing threats & being transparent about that is not me damaging his character.
It’s exposing it.

You want me to stop talking about your behavior more than you want to stop your harmful behavior.
You want to protect your reputation? Start by taking responsibility for your behavior.
My voice does not ruin your reputation. Your choices do. 🧠 🐐

Address

Buffalo, NY

Telephone

+18884213171

Website

http://adhdwithangie.com/

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