Sacred Wheel Center for Grief and Healing

07/26/2023

View of the extraordinary land at Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, New Mexico, home of Georgia O'Keeffe and the inspiration for so many more - which hosts my week-long course entitled "Healing Grief Around the Sacred Wheel!" We are returning this fall: October 30 - November 4, 2022! Contact Ghost Ranch for m...

07/26/2023

Hi, Everyone! If you or anyone you know are grieving past or present loss, struggling to find strength and to move forward, it is time to make plans to journey around the sacred wheel with us this fall in my Healing Grief Around the Sacred Wheel retreat this October 15-20, 2023, at Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, New Mexico! The Ranch is an extraordinary place to do inner healing work! The colorful mesas and hills, its arroyo, the Chama River and Abiquiu Lake surround and welcome us; and if we can see, they may reflect our grief-healing strength; and if we listen, may speak healing to our pain. Energy is beginning to build for this year's circle, so if you are one for whom this work is intended, make plans to join us! Registration is open online! Go to www.ghostranch.org and click on the workshop catalog for more information on lodging and costs, and/or to register. You can also go to sacredwheelcenter.com for more information on the retreat itself. Any questions, email me, Cheryl Downey, at [email protected]!

Healing of the heart/mind/body/spirit, specializing in griefwork, acute or longstanding; working from both a traditional approach and/or shamanic arts, tools, and energetic awarenesses to help shift blocks release energy, and restore healthy movement around the sacred wheel of life; discovering the power of creativity to bring new energy to entrenched grief and renewed self-understanding. Engagement of spiritual growth through the mirror of deep grief.

04/18/2021

RETREAT DATES ARE SET! Just received word that after a long pause due to the COVID-19 pandemic, our week-long retreat, "Healing Grief Around the Sacred Wheel," will be happening OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 5, 2021 at the extraordinary Ghost Ranch, in Abiquiu, New Mexico! More information will be forthcoming when Ghost Ranch releases its Fall offerings. In the meantime, feel free to contact Ghost Ranch www.ghostranch.org Or go to www.sacredwheelcenter.com for a general description of prior retreats. We are continuing to dream and plan a powerful week with much healing and prayers for those this year for whom the work is intended! And if that is YOU - make plans to attend a week of grief-healing in circle and communing with the gifts of the land! Let the beauty of Nature hold you and speak healing to you!! See you there! Cheryl

03/26/2021

Only a few spaces left for our upcoming retreat "Healing Grief Around the Sacred Wheel," Sunday, October 31 through Friday, November 5, 2021 at the extraordinary Ghost Ranch Education & Retreat Center in Abiquiu, New Mexico! To register, go to www.ghostranch.org and click "specialty retreats." If you are moving through grief past or present, and find yourself looking for time to focus on healing and self-care, join us for reflections, guided meditations, sacred art and communion with Nature as we journey around the sacred wheel together. Let the beauty of Nature hold you and speak healing to you! See you there!

12/23/2020

I have been nudged in my heart to reach out to all of you hearts-at-large as I begin to weave a new basket today. It is a basket that does what baskets do by nature: open to receive...open to receive what is precious. Food. Jewelry. Flowers. So much beauty. So much new life...

And yet - so often when in a state of grief that waxes and wanes with the pain of loss - a new basket is not seen as opening to receive precious gifts of beauty. It is seen as emptiness and loss. A symbol of what we don't have. A picture that touches our aching, grieving heart and activates the cold fear of eternal pain and emptiness...

This state of Seeing in the pain of loss is compounded right now by the mind-bending numbers of our fellow humans around the world who have died in the COVID-19 pandemic. Not that people don't continue to live and die as they always have. But when we take a moment to wrap our heads around the numbers, it is breathtaking. Almost heart-stopping...

Feeling my heart beating at this moment in the weaving of my basket, I pause...I am grateful for my beating, healing heart. I open to Spirit and to all of those in spirit who have transitioned...I open it to the aching ones who are moving through these days harboring heavy sorrow and isolated from loving attention and open-hearted listening support. Physical isolation is definitely a force to be reckoned with. Nevertheless, in the quiet of your solitude, please feel the loving spirits of so very, very many sent your way in prayer, dreams and meditation. Feel the presence of the Beings of Light who surround you and love you this very moment.

I realize that I do not know most of you personally. Nor can I add my own personal grief over the direct loss of life or job or livelihood, though my work has been on pause for months. I have hunkered down, stayed home for the most part, worn a mask on the occasions I have ventured out, and endured the crazy long time it has been since connecting in the physical with friends and family. How much of me will be gone when the doors to communal living open once more? How long will it take to adjust, recover, HEAL my aching heart...my grief over what my eyes have seen?

It is good to reckon with anticipatory grief. It is ok to feel out my inner self, check in, follow what is there to get a sense of what lies ahead for my wellbeing...In the meantime I weave this basket, creating a structure that opens...will I feel only emptiness? Will I receive some new gifts of healing awareness? New energy? New sense of purpose and interconnectedness?

Each of us is like a basket. Each day of our lives, our breathing weaves the seen and unseen warp and woof of the extraordinary human vessel of Light that we are. We are by nature open. It takes effort - it is draining - to stay closed. So I am encouraging you - my basket is encouraging you - even in the dark throes of pain and sorrow - to realize we are weaving an open basket... It is open...for you to receive ... what you need for your wellbeing ... what you need for healing rest ... the power of Grace and New Life...freely given with Love.

Trust in the Basket of your beautiful being. Know your power.

P.S. As I was writing these words, our neighbor rang the doorbell, standing outside in the rain-turning-to-snow, with Christmas cookies. As we reached out to one another, our hands formed baskets...Giver - Receiver - meeting in the middle with open hands

04/12/2020

Sunday, April 12, 2020 ~

Happy Easter and Passover, Everyone! The COVID-19 shelter-in-place this year has created an almost unbelievable pause in the flow of life as we know it - and now the spring snowstorm blizzarding through is creating another halting layer!

I deeply resonate with the idea, the metaphor, of "PAUSE" to describe what we are going through today and on this planet at this time! And, of course, it speaks to me of one of the mysteries of grief.

I was in the middle of a yoga session a while back, and the instructor was guiding us in our breathing. She asked us to "breathe into the movement." I did so, drawing in my breath slowly - all the way to the point of physical discomfort, where the movement paused before the exhale. I was aware as I breathed out that I was holding the experience of pain from the point of that pause in my breath all the way back out. I realized in that moment that I tend to hold on to the grief pain I carry - physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Rather than releasing the pain I encounter in my healing, I carry that experience forward. Rather than saying "hello" to it in that profound pause in momentum and then letting go of it moving forward, I create a mechanism to keep my pain instead.

But like breathing is a physical construct to pull in the oxygen needed for life, and then to release our bodies' by-products - it is also a metaphor to bring in our experiences of life changes and growth, and to release the emotions, thoughts, old beliefs that accompany our movement through change and loss. I realized in that moment of PAUSE between inhale and exhale I had an opportunity to RELEASE instead of hold on to pain. In that PAUSE was a perfect moment to connect to healing intent and release the constriction of pain or fear or negative energies that otherwise obstruct our path. For without that obstruction, I have discovered that for yet another time I can move forward for that moment feeling centered, balanced and in quiet joy.

Which brings us back to this extraordinary PAUSE we are all experiencing as we strive to mitigate the spread of COVID-19. For many of us this PAUSE is a time of profound discomfort in any one of many ways, from being isolated, quarantined, suffering through this illness or any other illness or disease, losing a job, a livelihood, health insurance or living through end-of-life experiences - yours or a loved one's. That is just a start of what all this PAUSE is shifting economically, educationally, socially...

This is perhaps some of the pain we hold and feel when in a quiet moment we gasp at the magnitude of it...we hold our breath because what is next for us? how do we move forward in certainty?! ... but I would encourage us - in that quiet moment of PAUSE - to RELEASE that hold...LET GO in a silent wordless prayer to the Divine, to the Beings of Light who surround us and love us in Spirit and in the physical - to send out to them any overwhelm and confusion and fear of the unknown circulating within and around you.

And then breathe it out to them...to your life...to the life of those you love...and to the essential workers on the ground who are keeping our stores supplied with what we need; all medical professionals who are caring for all who are in need, at risk of their own lives; all law enforcement personnel dealing with the social and psychological effects of this PAUSE ; and our city, county, state and federal governments who are navigating their way through this on our behalf and for our protection as best they can.

Breathe out and follow it into the future...what will you feel about this time? what will you remember? Will your future inbreath stop at a point of pain remembering? It may and that will be normal and expected...and will probably be shared to some degree by all of us. But it IS possible to loosen our grip right now by imagining ourselves pain-free then...it IS possible to let go - with love - right now in this current PAUSE.

And move forward in peace and wisdom. As someone has commented, it is not as smooth as it may sound. Yes, that is very true. But may those who have ears to hear, hear...and carry that higher vibration with you into healing. May holiday blessings melt away fear like sun on the snow in our backyard!

From my heart always ~
Cheryl

04/10/2020

Friday, April 10, 2020 ~

To the grieving ones in this time of social distancing, quarantine, and isolation:

My teachers have taught me that "the first lesson of power is that we are all alone."

Grief is an extraordinary - and challenging - teacher and we are singularly alone in discovering its wisdom for ourselves. That said, we can draw inspiration and strength from the stories of others to stay true to our own inner movement. But their way cannot be our way.

I often write and teach stories of my own grief experiences but my grief may or may not resonate with your grief. The grief in my life that has taught me so painfully and beautifully is not your teacher, although there may be signs and symbols in the telling of it that light up your path - and mine! Ultimately, your grief - however you experience it - is your own extraordinary teacher. It may not seem so when moving through the gray days, but each one of us moving through change and loss of any kind, past or present, sits in the center of a sacred wheel that holds all of the rich colors of the tapestry of our life, including our pain and grief experiences ... all of the seeds for our own healing, if we have the courage to sit still, take a look, listen, remember.

There are many teaching threads happening as we grieve but two basic ones are: the thread that teaches us through the experiences themselves - by being present to the flow of energies and pain without constriction or negative judgement; and the thread that teaches by looking back over the journey - reflecting, lighting up insights and awareness of life patterns that light up who we are on deeper levels. Both are necessary for illuminating the pain with which we hold our loss and for finding the path to letting go.

And that path is unique to each one of us. It is good to look to someone for guidance and support - because although our path is ours alone, we need not perpetuate the sense of being bereft of community. I know from experience, however, that our aching hearts may not open to support from another until we are ready, and that may take longer than our friends and family would like! Try not to let the sensibilities of others create negativity towards your own process - after all, they are most likely coming from what they have learned from their own journeys. Your grief will unfold in its own time, if you let it. Trust it. Trust yourself. Stand up for it and yourself.

So for those in grief, social distancing may provide a kind of relief. Perhaps the gift of letting up of social expectations...being allowed to stay at home and just be with your experience - feelings, thoughts, fears, without pressure to buck up and get out there. Without the escapist distractions of bars, restaurants, sports, music and shopping for the time being...without looking for love in all the wrong places (which may be your way of coping, and that is ok, but unhealthy behaviors are not conducive to healing release, just sayin'!)

For it is often in the quiet of aloneness that our deepest truths emerge, that Spirit speaks to our hearts, that Power finds us...again.

Be well during these days...allow yourself to know that even alone you are enough...sit in the center of your sacred wheel in gratitude always to Spirit and the precious beings that touch you with love on this earthwalk. Remember: the last lesson of power is that we are all one...!

From my heart always ~
Cheryl

04/06/2020

Anyone who is grieving right now in the midst of our social distancing will likely experience emotional triggers from the separations - great or mild - real and perceived - that constitute our shared everyday life for a while. This is not a bad thing - in fact, in my mind it is actually a gift because moving and releasing the energies of loss that are held in our bodies, emotions, minds and spirits are what grief is all about. Triggers can open us into healing gateways, if we don't kneejerk block them. Allowing them to open us to the emergence of the often hidden pain we carry is a special gift, for which I am grateful.

Which brings me to the power that resides in our social distancing. So many focus on the negative impact of the separations on our sense of wellbeing, as if we are being harmed in some way. This attitude brings home the fact that human beings are indeed hardwired biologically to be together...to be in community. But this does not necessarily mean only with other people. As humans we can also commune with the natural world around us. We can socially distance yet feel connected with neighborhood "wildlife" even in the city. We can listen to the birds, watch the butterflies, talk with the trees (yes!), observe the bees and catch a valiant plant growing up through the cracks in the sidewalks and gutters. We are hardwired to be in connection with other living beings - not just human.

There is a reason why we easily consider social distancing to be negative. From where I sit, that reason is underlying grief from unresolved loss. Social distancing can tap the separation of current or past losses that still hurt. It can call up the painful distance of a loved one who is gone in the physical and now exists in that vast realm of spirit - who knows where?

The other night I was asking Spirit to help me strengthen my life and guide my efforts toward physical/spiritual healing and balance during these days. Spirit showed me a ball of light - bright like the sun - in my belly, the place of my inner fire. The ball of light grew and I heard "Allow this Inner Sun to slowly move up through you, burning away what is unnecessary for your life right now. Allow Divine Light to shine throughout your being, and radiate that Light in the space between you and all who are at a distance from you!"

This meant in the space between not only me and those socially distant in the physical for whom I pray, but between me and those I love or those who come for healing who are in spirit with whom I wish to connect.

Grieving ones in my experience often feel their loved one who has died exists on the other side of a deep divide - not just physically gone but spiritually distant as well. And they feel left alone ... abandoned ... bereft. Painfully isolated from them, yearning for their loved one's physical presence once again and aching for one last encounter.

I remember the message from Spirit and the Inner Sun; and am here to say that anyone who is feeling separate from their loved one who has died is in a normal and appropriate space in their grief process. We must feel the separation before we can heal the pain we hold around it. But once we are fully aware of our lives without them, it is possible to create space within us to meet with them in Spirit. This can be done by quieting oneself, moving into meditation (if possible), and - when stilled, focused and ready - see, sense, feel or imagine Divine Light shining like the sun in the space of the divide, the separation, the space between. Let it shine, and when you are ready send your awareness up high - into it, above it - and see your loved one in the midst of it! Know that you are in Divine Protection as you greet your loved one...connect heart to heart, as you speak from your heart, and communicate - with words or without - whatever your heart wants to say or your heart wants to give! Leave some room for them to respond however that may be - in a look, a gesture, a feeling, telepathy, a memory or symbol perhaps. When you are finished - that is, as your attention pulls away, and/or the light fades - say good-bye with gratitude to your loved one and to Spirit for the opportunity to cross the divide and connect once again through the voice of your heart ... to speak truth to the one you love.

Remember: it is important to let go and be present to life without your loved one before crossing the space between. But know that it is possible to connect when the time is right. And when the time is right, trust in the space between you as a room of Divine power that is always there when you want to intentionally connect and touch hearts again...when you need to light up your life with love and joy when times get rough.

Until the next thing lights up ~ remember the joy of social distancing - it is important to shine light between you and all in your life who are also rediscovering how to connect with Life in the physical space between!

From my heart always ~
Cheryl

from "Emerging Into Light: the Mysteries of Grief" - Cheryl Downey, author
This may be shared with credits.

(c) Sacred Wheel Center, Inc.

04/01/2020

Wednesday, April 1, 2020 ~

Last night I woke up, realizing I was dreaming masks. Pictures of people from all over the world wearing N95 masks parading like a montage across the screen.

What a vision to behold! People all over the world wearing masks - for health reasons, of course - to protect and be protected from the SARS-coV-2 virus. My dreaming flowed on to scenes of more masks: ancient masks, Halloween masks, face-painting masks, facial mud masks...And I began hearing "Masks are powerful! They can protect us from airborne dangers! Masks can also strengthen and empower us by calling upon a face of a person or animal to help us feel, imagine, sense, take on their particular strengths or powers for a task at hand. Masks allow us to explore our imaginations, our alter-egoes, to play with others and pretend for fun. And masks can truly scare people! One Halloween as a child my dad jumped out of the dark wearing a horribly monstrous and very frightening mask, scaring me half to death! That sense of heart-stopping fear still shows up occasionally in nightmares! MASKS ARE POWERFUL!!

Then I realized something different about the COVID-19 N95 and surgical masks. They only cover the nose and mouth. In my healing world, this means covering the 5th chakra - our voice, our self-expression. And there it was again - the power of our voice. Only this time I was being shown how we are covering it, muffling it, at this time. How interesting that as we endure community shutdowns that we also muffle the voice...covering the small and large facial movements that are essential to interpersonal communication...essential for naked truth-telling...

Maybe it helps us endure such times if as a community we hold back the full expression of our truth right now - which may be full of persistent fears, or difficult thoughts and emotions. Maybe it helps control social energies - for with social distancing comes reduced airing and building of grievances in groups. And hysteria. Or rebellion. Maybe they help us balance responsible social limitations with our precious social freedom...

And then there is our grief. Grief and loss weave in, through and all around us as COVID-19 makes the rounds. Whether we realize it or not, we often pick up and wear masks as we grieve. I remember putting on an invisible mask to hide my pain at a certain point after my home blew up and burned down. I could tell others were weary of seeing the grief on my face and hearing it in my voice. I wonder now: did wearing a poker face "mask" protect others from my grief - or their own? Did it protect me? Wearing that invisible mask muffled the sound of my grieving voice, so I wouldn't make others uncomfortable; but it also covered up my truth if I didn't feel safe...

I have noticed that others in a state of grief do that, too. Wearing a muffling, protective mask is our choice, of course, and is an important tool for our healing journey - but over time it does use up precious energy. There comes a time when the mask just has to come off. Face uncovered. Vulnerability seen. Truth - and the raw voice - more fully expressed. Flow of life energy restored...

Finally, my dream self reminded me that a mask shields. It acts as a shield in the physical. But there are other shields that co-exist with the N95's. I asked my teacher once what a "shield" was; she replied, "It is who you are in the world!" So my dreaming revealed some wisdom to me: Wearing the N95's is important - necessary physical protection of self and others as we ride out this viral storm. But they need not muffle the energy of our spirits, the light within us that shines through our eyes and can touch the heart of a grieving one...that inspires us all to meet these challenges together - and to stay the course.

Until the next time something lights up ~ be well, keep your mask on, your shield up and your light shining!

Cheryl