Tori Palliccia, LMFT

05/13/2026

You never know when a trauma trigger is going to hit, and it can be really surprising to be flooded with old feelings when you thought you’ve healed the wound. The truth about trauma is that though we do heal parts of it, it never goes away, it just scars. And every once in a while, something will scratch the wound and it will start to bleed again. What’s going be different is how you respond to it, how well you take care of yourself in it and how you allow others to take care of you. There’s so much research that says it’s not only the trauma that changes us, but how the people in our lives responded to it that will determine how we heal. This is why the people you choose to have in your life are so important to your well-being. Maybe no one showed up for you when you were young, but find the people that will show up for you now. That is when you feel authentic love and a lot less crazy.

02/21/2026

Has this story touched you?

02/04/2026

01/04/2026

Codependency is the need to be needed and is characterized by compulsive caregiving. It can show up as the need to save or rescue someone else, to spare them pain or consequences (enabling), and doing too much in ways that don’t allow others to do for themselves. It often includes difficulty with boundaries and the ability to say no without being riddled with guilt, and difficulty expressing what they need, want, or feel directly. Their needs often feel less important than other people’s, and that’s where resentment grows.

Codependent people often feel unappreciated and depleted because they’re hoping someone will notice how much they do and, in turn, see them and show up for them. They may be drawn to emotionally unavailable people, or relationships where they fall into familiar roles and patterns, often rooted in childhood.

Freedom from codependency comes with strong boundaries, investment in self, choosing healthy people, finding validation from within rather than externally, building a sense of worth outside of helping others, and being able to tell someone when their upset or hurt without letting it build up to a breaking point. This isn’t to say they shouldn’t help others; that’s a valuable part of who they are. It’s about knowing who to invest in, where the boundaries are, what drives the pattern, and what it costs them.

12/22/2025

There are so many people that show up for others and go above and beyond to make sure they’re taken care of, but quietly yearn for somebody to notice that they are struggling too. They need somebody to show up for them and say, don’t worry I got you. They need someone to see what’s underneath the smiles. They have a younger version of themselves that needed somebody to step in and rescue them, someone that can see their pain. They became what they needed because through other people they are saving themselves, but it’s not enough because though they gladly take care of everyone else, they don’t take care of themselves in the same loving way. You know you’re healing when you talk to yourself with the love and compassion that you so freely give to everyone else. When you can say, don’t worry, I got you, to yourself. The work is in reparenting oneself and being able to internalize the voice you needed to hear versus the voice you did hear. When you know and honor your own needs. relationships

12/17/2025

12/01/2025

When you constantly try to control, criticize and correct others, they can’t feel safe around you and will be left with a feeling of inadequacy. While we will look at what you deserve, we will also work on who you want to be in your relationships. If there are resentments that have built up that drive some of these behaviors, let’s work on it.

11/19/2025

When you approach someone with the story you’ve created on your mind, you automatically put them on the defense without truly knowing if your story is true. When you ask questions and approach with curiosity, it allows them to explain without the defensiveness so you can get the true story without feelings being ignited and starting a fight. Curiosity will save you from a lot of unnecessary drama.

10/21/2025

08/21/2025

I hope you can bring your walls down some day ❤️.