Tori Palliccia, LMFT

06/24/2026

05/13/2026

You never know when a trauma trigger is going to hit, and it can be really surprising to be flooded with old feelings when you thought you’ve healed the wound. The truth about trauma is that though we do heal parts of it, it never goes away, it just scars. And every once in a while, something will scratch the wound and it will start to bleed again. What’s going be different is how you respond to it, how well you take care of yourself in it and how you allow others to take care of you. There’s so much research that says it’s not only the trauma that changes us, but how the people in our lives responded to it that will determine how we heal. This is why the people you choose to have in your life are so important to your well-being. Maybe no one showed up for you when you were young, but find the people that will show up for you now. That is when you feel authentic love and a lot less crazy.

02/21/2026

Has this story touched you?

01/04/2026

Codependency is the need to be needed and is characterized by compulsive caregiving. It can show up as the need to save or rescue someone else, to spare them pain or consequences (enabling), and doing too much in ways that don’t allow others to do for themselves. It often includes difficulty with boundaries and the ability to say no without being riddled with guilt, and difficulty expressing what they need, want, or feel directly. Their needs often feel less important than other people’s, and that’s where resentment grows.

Codependent people often feel unappreciated and depleted because they’re hoping someone will notice how much they do and, in turn, see them and show up for them. They may be drawn to emotionally unavailable people, or relationships where they fall into familiar roles and patterns, often rooted in childhood.

Freedom from codependency comes with strong boundaries, investment in self, choosing healthy people, finding validation from within rather than externally, building a sense of worth outside of helping others, and being able to tell someone when their upset or hurt without letting it build up to a breaking point. This isn’t to say they shouldn’t help others; that’s a valuable part of who they are. It’s about knowing who to invest in, where the boundaries are, what drives the pattern, and what it costs them.