Dr. Craig Malkin

09/18/2026

Remy would like to wish you all a happy Friday! 

08/05/2026

“There’s no such thing as a parenting emergency.”

Of course, I’m not talking about imminent danger or a medical crisis. I’m talking about those moments when your child acts out, breaks a rule, makes a poor choice, or does something that leaves you angry, worried, or unsure what to do next.

Parents often feel pressure to respond immediately. But most of the time, you don’t have to.

You can pause.

You can calm down.

You can reflect on what happened and decide how you want to respond most effectively.

You might simply say:

“I’m concerned about what happened. I’m going to take some time to think about it, and then we’ll talk about what needs to happen next and how we can prevent it from happening again.”

The wording will change with age:
Age 3: “I’m not going to let you hit. We’re going to calm down now, and we’ll talk about it when we’re ready.”

Age 4: “What happened wasn’t okay. I’m going to think about how we can help you make a different choice next time.”

Age 6: “I’m concerned about what you did. I’m going to take some time to think, and then we’ll decide together how to make it right.”

Age 17: “I’m concerned about the choice you made, but I don’t want to react while I’m upset. I’m going to think this through, and we’ll talk later about what happens next.”

Waiting helps prevent power struggles. It makes it less likely that you’ll lose your cool, overreact, or impose a consequence you later regret.

And the pause gives you time to consult your partner, speak with a professional, read about the issue, or even check your thinking with a mental health–savvy AI.

You don’t have to have the perfect response ready in the heat of the moment. Effective parenting starts with slowing down.

07/29/2026

“Narcissistic abuse” is the wrong label.

Not because the pattern isn’t real.
It is.

But because gaslighting, coercive control, blame-shifting, devaluation, emotional coercion, and reality distortion aren’t unique to narcissism. And they never have been.

That’s why I prefer covert abuse: it keeps the focus on the behavior, not the diagnosis.

Real harm. Better science. Clearer language.

07/28/2026

"Early intervention can reduce aggression and impulsivity in children with psychopathic traits.

Intensive, individualized treatment programs lower antisocial behaviors in callous-unemotional youth."

Early diagnosis and treatment are key. Schools can help.

07/27/2026

Official Anthem video for the Mets! Always an honor!

07/20/2026

🚨 The internet has redefined "covert narcissism." Unfortunately, it's wrong.

One of the most common myths I see online is this:
"If someone's kind in public but cruel behind closed doors, they're a covert narcissist."
That relationship pattern is absolutely real.
But that's not what psychologists mean by covert narcissism.

In psychology, covert (also called vulnerable or hypersensitive) narcissism describes someone who struggles with:
• shame
• insecurity
• hypersensitivity to criticism
• envy
• withdrawal
• and a hidden sense of being special or misunderstood.

Some people with vulnerable narcissism become manipulative or abusive.
Many don't.
Likewise, plenty of narcissists who are charming in public and abusive in private are actually grandiose (overt) narcissists.

Why does this distinction matter?
Because when we redefine clinical terms to mean "anyone who hurt me," we lose precision. And when we lose precision, we also lose our ability to understand people accurately, choose effective treatment, and make wise decisions about our relationships.

The behaviors described in viral posts—gaslighting, blame-shifting, playing the victim, chronic invalidation—are real. They deserve to be taken seriously. They just aren't the definition of covert narcissism.

Psychology gives us language to increase understanding—not to replace it.

07/16/2026

The relationship patterns described here are absolutely real. But this isn’t what psychologists mean by covert narcissism.

Covert narcissism doesn’t mean someone who appears kind in public but secretly abuses people in private. The term, often also called vulnerable or hypersensitive narcissism, describes a style marked by shame, insecurity, hypersensitivity to criticism, withdrawal, envy, and a hidden (covert) sense of specialness.

Some people with vulnerable narcissism are manipulative or abusive. Many aren’t. And plenty of grandiose narcissists are charming in public and cruel behind closed doors. In fact, this fits an overt narcissist far more than a covert one.

Interrupting, blame-shifting, “victim flipping,” and making everything about oneself also aren’t unique to narcissism. They can occur across many forms of personality difficulty, emotional dysregulation, substance misuse, and ordinary high-conflict relationships. The strongest predictors of these behaviors tend to be BPD and ASPD or severity of personality disorder.

Your discomfort matters. But discomfort isn’t a diagnosis, and your body isn’t a personality test.

Better questions are: Am I safe? Are my needs and feelings being respected? Can I remain fully myself in this relationship? Does the relationship improve when concerns are raised, or does it become increasingly controlling and one-sided?

We don’t need to prove someone is a narcissist before deciding a relationship is unhealthy. Helping people build trust in their own judgement is far more empowering.

Social media is filled with this kind of material. Proceed with caution when consuming it. Much of it is unscientific, false, and besides the point

07/15/2026

Late last year, nearly 10 years after its release, was listed in The New York Times as the first among four must-read books on . I’ve no doubt that all your support and feedback over the years helped keep the book alive and in the conversation—so thank you!
I was honored to be included alongside my friends and colleagues Wendy T. Behary and Dr. Ramani, as well as Sandy Hotchkiss :-)
(I couldn’t get the word out at the time because this page had been hacked, but better late than never!)

07/10/2026

Dr. Remy is in.
And he might be a little judgy (?)

07/09/2026

Not all emotions are created equal.

In Emotionally Focused Therapy, we help partners identify core emotions, like fear, sadness, or shame, that often hide beneath reactive behaviors. These are the deeper emotions that guide us toward connection and healing.

Adaptive emotions are our nervous system’s healthy responses to real experiences: fear keeps us safe, sadness helps us seek comfort, anger helps us protest injustice. But when these emotions are buried or blocked, often by defenses or old attachment injuries, they can come out distorted, or not at all.

When couples learn to access and share their core, adaptive emotions with each other, vulnerability becomes a bridge instead of a barrier. 🧠💬💙

06/06/2026

Teaching Schedule! Voice Lessons and Coaching this week!
06/07
06/09
Email: [email protected]

-Chloe

05/18/2026

The plot thickens… and somehow the chaos turned into clarity. ✨

I’ve spent so much time trying to make sense of every twist, every ending, every person who came into my life carrying both beauty and lessons. But maybe not everything is meant to be solved immediately. Maybe some chapters are just meant to shape you into someone stronger, softer, wiser, and a little more unapologetic about taking up space.

Still dreaming big. Still singing my heart out around the world. Still laughing too loud, feeling too much, and turning ordinary moments into movie scenes in my head. But I’m learning that peace feels a lot better than proving yourself to people who already misunderstood you. 🖤 Finding true love for the first time in my life has changed me for the better and allowed a new level of growth and appreciation for this beautiful life.♥️

And honestly… I think the best part of the story might finally be beginning. 💋

05/10/2026

Always around this time of year, I start missing my Trans-Siberian Orchestra family! Soon we’ll be back in arenas bringing the holiday spirit to life once again. ✨🎄

In the meantime, catch me on the other side of the pond singing my heart out! 🌍🎶

05/02/2026

Hey Friends! Back to work for the next few months! Teaching a bit here and there and offering some last minute slots for tomorrow 5/3 and 5/8. If you are interested in vocal/performance coaching please email [email protected].

Looking forward to working with you!

C

04/30/2026

What a monumental day for my hero—my dad. Today, Dr. Lowery officially retires from medicine after a truly extraordinary career. I know this wasn’t an easy decision, but we couldn’t be more proud of everything you’ve accomplished and the lives you’ve touched along the way. Here’s to this next chapter—may it be just as meaningful and fulfilling. I love you, Daddy. - ( found this photo this morning of Savannah and I clearly in our awkward phases lol )

04/21/2026

Back to work this week—and what a beautiful break it’s been, filled with visiting my love and time with my favorite people ♥️ Did you miss me?

Now it’s go time. Three months straight of doing what I love… let’s do this.

Kicking it off in Irving, Texas this Saturday, April 25th with the and bringing you hits from Heart, Madonna, AC/DC and more. Come join us… I promise it’ll be worth it.

Let’s make some magic ✨ Love you all!

04/05/2026

Easter has always meant love to me…
pure, grounding, heart-filling love.
No matter how you spend today, I hope you feel deeply loved and connected.
Carrying my family with me in every heartbeat 🤍