06/19/2026
I haven't posted much as of late... seems rather unimportant to share the mundane details of life. I'm happy to see your posts - your events - your happy moments.
I often wonder what we don't post....things like, "life really sucks right now" "I'm struggling" "I'm really having a hard time" "I'm worried about my health" "I don't want to get out of bed." "I can't do this anymore" and other really hard statements- I think this because these are the regular conversations that happen in my therapy space with my clients. That seems more real to me - that hard things that we can't say to each other - but we can say to a therapist in a safe and protected environment. And I never take for granted what happens in that space is because clients feel safe enough to open up here.
I hear a lot of things that of course can't be repeated because of the confidence of my clients - things that would rip your heart apart and break your brain. Things that weigh heavy on me. I don't say that for sympathy or recognition - just a reality of the profession I have chosen, or sometimes feel the profession has chosen me. Believe me - I love what I do - watching people transform their lives from the broken ruins of trauma to a beautiful mosaic art piece, reconstructed to some amazing work of art.
I had clients explain their meatphor of therapy to me and two stand out - one said therapy is like cleaning out your closet and you pile everything on your bed and when you see the giant pile on your bed, you wonder what made you start this because now you don't have anywhere to sleep. The second is pretty incredible - therapy is like picking out a jigsaw puzzle with like 5000 pieces at Goodwill and it is in a baggie with no box or picture for you and your therapist to put together in session and eventually you get the pieces together and realize what the picture is.... finally.
Today marks my 7th year in private practice. I ran the numbers yesterday. I've seen 392 patients - and I have completed 11571 appointments. (unfortunately I don't have the numbers from my previous years in community agency work) Those numbers boggle my brain because when I started I feared that no one would find me - that my version of therapy would be offputting to some because of my unorthodox methods to have hard conversations. But happily - 392 people have found me in the last seven years, and entrusted their deepest hurts, pains, and most intimate thoughtful moments with me. Each session is very different from hour to hour - from the hardest moments to the happy dance moments that they were able to put therapy into practice in their life. Little baby steps forward. That the identified issue is resolving and not such a big stumbling issue in their daily life. That they were able to have a hard conversation with someone and it didn't turn into an escalated argument that actually felt like there was resolution.
Things I have learned from my clients are innumerable and immeasurable to who I am as a person. What I will say as a clinician is that we all - all of us - need to practice kindness. That you have to protect your environment from utter chaos. That you are responsible for your thoughts, your feelings, and what you will allow. You teach people how you want to be treated and if you allow people to treat your poorly - they will. If someone dysregulates your nervous system and you feel a certain way (anxiousness or insert emotion here) what is your body telling you?
That you can do hard things. That hard conversations don't have to be hard. That conflict is ok to have to learn from and to find resolution. That when hard/bad/horrible things happen - you can find a way to mend those hurts within you. We all need boundaries to keep us safe and protected.
If someone tells you hurt them, you don't get to tell them they're wrong - apologize and try not to do it again - you don't have to be defensive - just fix it. Be curious why someone responds as they do - you don't have to judge. And for the love of God, please stop expecting that others are going to respond or act like you. And most importantly - give others grace. You have no idea what others are going thru in their life - they may not be an as***le on purpose, they may be thinking about their loved one that just passed away, their sick family member, their last dollar in the bank, their intense worries that they just can't get out of their head. Ask someone to "try again" if they come at you with a tone. it's not hard. We have sometimes forgotten that others are also human. This is not intentional - and if you do something intentional - why? or fix it - stop taking things personally - people are just trying to do their best - and if they're not doing their best - offer support, help, encouragement. Be the person you needed when you have struggled. It's not hard - it just takes some awareness. It also takes some patience.
Subsequently (tmy all time favorite work in the English language)- those are some thoughts after these last seven years of owning my own business. It is a huge accomplishment - one that I wouldn't have gotten thru without love, support and encouragement from my friends, family and trusted colleagues and learning faith in myself and my abilities.
A huge thank you to my mom for always encouraging me to follow my dreams and goals. And another huge thank you to my daughter who has shared our time with others in need. She never complained when a client was in crisis or needed support in a moment - for that selflessness, while it took time from her, she never complained. And to Gracie - who is a really great coworker by my side each and every day.
