Counseling Ministry of Charlottesville

03/26/2024

Excited for this upcoming conversation.

10/05/2023

Heard David years ago now, but his poetic voice is one I know I can trust for its resonance and honesty. Take a read:

THE SHELL

An open sandy shell
on the beach,
empty but beautiful,
like a memory
of a protected previous self.

The most difficult griefs,
ones in which
we slowly open
to a larger sea, a grander
sweep that washes
all our elements apart.

So strange the way
we are larger
in grief
than we imagined
we deserved or could claim.

Even stranger then,
at the edge of the sea,
when loss
floods into us again,
to feel the hand
of the wind
laid on our shoulder,

reminding us
how death grants
a fierce and fallen freedom
away from the prison
of a constant
and continued presence,

how in the end
those who have left us
might no longer need us,
with all our tears
and our much needed
measures of loss
and that their own death
is as personal
and private
as that life of theirs
which you never really knew,

and another disturbing thing,
that exultation
is possible
without them.

And they
in fact
for themselves,
are glad for you to let go
of all the stasis
and the enclosure
and the need for them to live
like some prisoner,
that you only wanted
to remain incurious
and happy in your love,
never looking for the key,
never wanting to
turn the lock and walk
away

like the wind,
unneedful of you,
ungovernable,
unnamable,
and like you now,
free.
..

THE SHELL.
From Everything is Waiting for You
Many Rivers Press. © David Whyte
..

Letting go, not of grief, but of the way we are grieving. letting go, not of our love for those who are gone, but of the way our grief and refusal to let go, is stopping us from embracing the love they taught us how to hold. Letting their names turn and return into the unnameable qualities they held all along. Letting them, and ourselves alone, to be free. DW
..

At Ease
Portofino. Ligurian Sea.
Photo @ David Whyte
October 4th 2023

09/17/2023

In dark times, we need hope to see us thru. But hope is more than an attitude—it’s an action, as poet Kim Stafford suggests. Here are brief takes on some of his lines:

• “Be not afraid." We can and do HAVE fear, but we don’t need to BE our fear when we act.

• “When things go wrong, do right.” Every right action counts, no matter how small.

• “The well-lit problem begins to heal.” Seek the light of truth in yourself and the world and it will set you free.

• “Learn tropism toward the difficult.” As I learned on Outward Bound when I froze in mid-rappel, “If you can’t get out of it, get into it!”

• “When you hit rock bottom, dig farther down.” There are times when we can’t bounce back until we’ve bottomed out.

• “Plunder your reticence.” For me, that often means, “Get over yourself and just do it!”

Please share your thoughts about doing and being hope in dark times. We get along with a little help from our friends!

[Poem from Kim Stafford, “Wild Honey, Tough Salt.” http://tiny.cc/v5rtuz. My 10 books are at tiny.cc/qocmuz AND http://tiny.cc/5rcmuz.]

09/17/2023

Good words from PJP:

In dark times, we need hope to see us thru. But hope is more than an attitude—it’s an action, as poet Kim Stafford suggests. Here are brief takes on some of his lines:

• “Be not afraid." We can and do HAVE fear, but we don’t need to BE our fear when we act.

• “When things go wrong, do right.” Every right action counts, no matter how small.

• “The well-lit problem begins to heal.” Seek the light of truth in yourself and the world and it will set you free.

• “Learn tropism toward the difficult.” As I learned on Outward Bound when I froze in mid-rappel, “If you can’t get out of it, get into it!”

• “When you hit rock bottom, dig farther down.” There are times when we can’t bounce back until we’ve bottomed out.

• “Plunder your reticence.” For me, that often means, “Get over yourself and just do it!”

Please share your thoughts about doing and being hope in dark times. We get along with a little help from our friends!

[Poem from Kim Stafford, “Wild Honey, Tough Salt.” http://tiny.cc/v5rtuz. My 10 books are at tiny.cc/qocmuz AND http://tiny.cc/5rcmuz.]

04/13/2023

Friends are a joy, and cultivating friendships is an art. Listen up to learn more.

Listen to this episode from A Slight Change of Plans on Spotify. It's a mistake to prioritize romantic and familial relationships over friendship, argues psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco. Strong, supportive friendships expand our sense of self, she says, and are associated with greater well-being and...

03/21/2023

Celebrating the Spring equinox today. Looking forward.

Today is the first day of spring, so of course we are revisiting Mary Oliver's iconic poem, "Spring."