05/15/2026
There is a kind of grief that people don’t talk about enough.
The grief of losing someone who is still alive.
The grief of loving someone deeply… while grieving the relationship that once existed.
The grief of watching addiction, mental health challenges, trauma, or life circumstances change someone you care about so significantly that the relationship no longer feels safe, healthy, or recognizable.
And sometimes the hardest part is having to set boundaries to protect yourself, your children, your marriage, your peace… while still loving that person with your whole heart.
That kind of grief is confusing.
Because there is no funeral.
No casseroles.
No formal condolences.
No socially accepted roadmap for healing.
Just the quiet ache of missing someone who is still here.
I know this grief personally.
I have grieved multiple relationships in my life because addiction impacted the people I love and impacted me in the process. I’ve had to make painful decisions to protect my son, my husband, my home, and my own emotional wellbeing.
That pain doesn’t just disappear.
You learn to carry it.
You learn to make peace with what is.
You learn that loving someone and protecting yourself can exist at the same time.
And that is not weakness.
That is healthy love.
As both a human being with lived experience and a licensed clinical social worker, credentialed alcohol and substance abuse counselor, and licensed behavioral health therapist, I need people to know this:
Addiction does not only impact the individual living with substance use challenges.
It impacts partners.
Parents.
Children.
Siblings.
Friends.
Entire family systems.
It creates trauma, fear, confusion, guilt, hypervigilance, heartbreak, hope, disappointment, and grief.
And yet families are often expected to just “figure it out.”
But there is another way.
I am certified in the Invitation to Change approach an evidence-based, compassionate framework that helps families learn how to support loved ones struggling with substance use through connection, skill-building, communication, boundaries, and hope not shame, punishment, or “tough love.”
This approach combines science and kindness.
And because this conversation matters so deeply to me, I am exploring the creation of a FREE Invitation to Change support group/workshop here in Chautauqua County for individuals and families navigating these exact challenges.
As the Founder of Together We Can CHQ an Overdose Awareness Coalition in Chautauqua County, my mission is to reduce stigma, support recovery, and honor the lives lost to overdose.
We are prevention-focused and committed to helping our community heal.
If you are grieving someone who is still alive, if you love someone who lives with addiction and mental health challenges and are unsure of how to support them or yourself, if you feel exhausted, confused, heartbroken, or alone…
Please know this:
Your grief and your pain is real.
Your boundaries are valid.
Your healing matters too.
Sometimes being “the light” means learning how to love someone differently.
Sometimes it means stepping back.
Sometimes it means asking for help.
Sometimes it means choosing healing for yourself.
And sometimes…
It means realizing that together, we can make a difference by supporting each other and taking responsibility for our own healing to build hope for a better tomorrow and a healthier loved one.
If an Invitation to Change support group would interest you, please comment below, send me a private message, or reach out directly. Our current mission is to explore interest so that we can establish a start date and time therefore the official start date is TBA. Our goal is to launch the group by September.
You are not alone. đź’ś
