10/18/2026
“Watch your mouth” came a whole lot quicker than “Tell me what happened” in some of our families.
A child could be telling the truth and still get punished for making an adult uncomfortable. Then everybody wondered why that child grew up and stopped coming around.
I believe in respecting our elders. I also believe we need to look at what we’ve allowed people to get away with in the name of that respect.
A child saying “You hurt me” deserves to be heard. Asking why deserves an explanation. Saying “I don’t want to hug them” deserves to be respected.
We cannot keep teaching children to ignore their own discomfort so the adults can stay comfortable.
I take this seriously. Part of my responsibility to my lineage is deciding what the next generation should never have to carry.
I know what type of Elder I’m becoming: one who listens, believes children, respects their boundaries, and makes room for the truth—even when it is uncomfortable.
We can teach children how to speak with respect while making room for what they have to say.
Being the Elder comes with the responsibility to listen.