01/03/2025
For anyone who needs a reminder to be kind and patient with themselves
After a traumatic event or a traumatic life, survivors might have only a very fragmented narrative of what happened or no clear story at all. Many survivors say, “I don’t remember anything,” without realizing that they are remembering when they suddenly startle, feel afraid, tighten up, pull back, feel shame or self-hatred, or start to tremble.
Because trauma is remembered emotionally and somatically more than it is remembered in a narrative form that can be expressed verbally, survivors often feel confused, overwhelmed, or crazy. Without a memory in words or pictures, they do not recognize what they are feeling as memory.
Most people are unaware of all these different ways of remembering, even though they are all too familiar with the experience of suddenly getting anxious or angry for no apparent reason. When they are triggered, they do not realize that what they are experiencing is a memory. They know the warm feeling that is connected to thinking about loved ones or the pulling back or bracing that occurs when they encounter someone who feels threatening.
