Profound Way Coaching

Profound Way Coaching Are you tired of feeling angry and bitter? Are you ready to let go of resentment? Learn how to forgive without neglecting your boundaries.

Profound Way Coaching offers 1:1 sessions and online courses.

09/10/2026

When I got divorced, I briefly went to a divorce support group.

I met two people there who had been divorced for more than 20 years.

One was still angry.
The other was still sad and crying.

And I remember thinking, I do not want to be those people.

I didn't want to still be carrying that hurt 20 years from now.

So I stopped going to that group and started looking for a different path.

I found loving-kindness meditation.

For about a month, I directed that practice toward myself. I needed to let my own heart heal before I could even think about extending anything toward my ex-husband.

Eventually, I started directing the practice toward him.

It didn't happen overnight.
It took about a year before he was no longer on my "better dead" list.

But eventually, something changed.

I forgave him.

And I didn't forgive him because what happened didn't matter.

I forgave him because I didn't want to spend the rest of my life being hurt by something that had already happened.

Sometimes forgiveness is a long process.
Sometimes the first person you need to offer compassion to is yourself.

If you're carrying resentment or trying to heal from something that happened in a relationship, I've created a free Forgiveness Guide to help you begin:

📖 https://profoundway.com/forgiveness-freebie-196407

A Trappist monk once wrote,"People may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find, once they re...
09/10/2026

A Trappist monk once wrote,

"People may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find, once they reach the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall."
– Thomas Merton

I've thought about that quote many times.
I think we can do the same thing with our emotional lives.
It's easy to spend years trying to avoid painful feelings.

We stay busy.
We distract ourselves.
We convince ourselves we'll feel better if we just stop thinking about what happened.

I've learned that those strategies may bring temporary relief, but they don't bring lasting peace.

They're solving the wrong problem.

The real work begins when I stop trying to outrun the pain and start healing the wound that's creating it.

That's what I want for the people I work with.

Not just fewer painful emotions.

Real emotional peace.

🍃 If that sounds like what you're looking for, get your free eBook on releasing resentment:
https://profoundway.com/forgiveness-freebie-196407

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I noticed something that surprised me.People wanted to know why.They asked what I had ...
09/09/2026

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I noticed something that surprised me.

People wanted to know why.

They asked what I had done, what I had eaten, what beliefs I was holding, or what had somehow brought this into my life.

I eventually realized those questions weren't really about me.

People were trying to make the world feel predictable.

But I found myself facing a different question.

How was I going to relate to my own body?

Near the end of this journey, I understood something I couldn't have imagined at the beginning:

"I never wanted to think of my own body as the enemy."

That changed everything.

I stopped talking about fighting myself. I stopped seeing my body as something that had betrayed me. Instead, I began learning how to care for the very body that was also working so hard to keep me alive.

Sometimes healing begins when we stop declaring war on ourselves.

If you'd like to read the full reflection, I'd love to share it with you here:
https://profoundwaycoaching.substack.com/p/i-refused-to-go-to-war-with-my-own

09/09/2026

I've heard people say, "You should forgive. Just let it go."

But here's what I believe:

There are no "shoulds" in forgiveness.

Forgiveness is your choice.

And sometimes the pressure doesn't even come from the person who hurt you. It comes from everyone around you.

"But they're family."
"It's Easter. Can't we just have one nice dinner?"
"Just let it go."

No.

You don't have to force yourself into a situation that's emotionally harmful just to keep everyone else comfortable.

I'm not saying you should show up to dinner looking for a fight. 😂

I'm saying you can choose not to go.

And if someone gets angry because you protected your own emotional wellbeing, that's something they have to work through.

Forgiveness isn't something you owe your family because it's a holiday.

And protecting your peace doesn't make you selfish.

Sometimes a healthy boundary sounds very simple:
"I'm not going."

One year from now, your life could feel very different.Not because the past changed.Because you did.About a year into my...
09/08/2026

One year from now, your life could feel very different.

Not because the past changed.

Because you did.

About a year into my forgiveness practice, I noticed something that caught me by surprise.

I rarely thought about my ex-husband anymore.

He wasn't living rent-free in my brain.

The revenge fantasies that had once consumed so much of my energy had quietly faded away.

The change happened so gradually that I almost missed it.

It took a mutual friend asking how I was doing for me to realize just how much lighter I'd become.

That's one of the beautiful things about healing.

You don't always notice it day by day.

Then one day you look back and realize you're no longer carrying what once felt impossible to put down.

I'm so grateful I started when I did.
I wouldn't have wanted to waste another day being bitter and miserable.

🍃 Are you ready to start letting go?

Get your free eBook:
https://profoundway.com/forgiveness-freebie-196407

09/08/2026

Sometimes we think resentment is just something happening in our head.

It isn't.

When I keep replaying something that hurt me, I'm not simply remembering the event. I'm keeping the emotional experience fresh in my mind, and my body can respond as if the threat is still happening.

That's where the stress response comes in.

My nervous system can move into fight-or-flight. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline can increase.

So when I talk about letting go of resentment, I'm not talking about pretending something didn't happen.

I'm talking about what carrying that resentment can continue to do to me.

It's psychological.

And it's physiological.

That's one reason I want us to become more open to forgiveness. Not because the person who hurt us deserves to feel better.

Because we deserve to stop carrying the stress of what already happened.

Over the years, I've noticed a pattern in my work with people.The clients who tell me they're completely fine are often ...
09/07/2026

Over the years, I've noticed a pattern in my work with people.

The clients who tell me they're completely fine are often the ones carrying the most.

It reminds me of Shakespeare's line in Hamlet:
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

When we insist a little too strongly that everything is okay, it can sometimes be a sign that something deeper is asking for our attention.

I've seen it in my clients.
I've seen it in myself.

There was a time when "I'm fine" really meant, "I don't know how to deal with this yet."

Healing didn't begin because I became stronger.

It began because I became honest.

So today, I'd invite you to ask yourself one simple question.

Am I really fine?
Or am I carrying something it's time to put down?

🍃 To start the process, get your free eBook:
https://profoundway.com/forgiveness-freebie-196407

When I was 19, I thought this story was about leaving home.Now I know it was really about learning how relationships sur...
09/07/2026

When I was 19, I thought this story was about leaving home.
Now I know it was really about learning how relationships survive change.

Parents eventually have to let go.
Children eventually have to leave.

Neither is easy.

What gives me hope isn't that my family avoided conflict. We didn't.
What gives me hope is that we kept choosing each other after the conflict.

That's why I wanted to end this story with these words:
"All relationships are going to have their ups and downs. My father taught me, among many other valuable lessons, not to hold on to negativity, but to cherish the other person and the relationship I had with them."

I've carried that lesson into every relationship since.

The older I get, the less interested I am in proving I was right.

The more interested I become in protecting the relationships that make life meaningful.

Thank you for walking through this story with me. If these reflections resonate with you, I'd love to continue the conversation on Substack.

https://profoundwaycoaching.substack.com/p/learning-to-leave

09/05/2026

Have you ever noticed how something you haven't finished keeps popping back into your head?

I have a messy desk right now, and I keep thinking, I need to clean my desk.
I don't have to be actively looking at it for the thought to come back.

That's what resentment can do, too.

Something happened. It's over. But your mind keeps going back to it.

You replay the conversation.
You remember what they said.
You think about what you should have said.
You get angry all over again.

And every time you do, that experience is taking up a little more of your mental bandwidth.

That's why I say you are the beneficiary of your own forgiveness.

When I let go of a resentment, I'm not doing the other person a favor.

I'm freeing up space in my own mind.

Forgiveness doesn't change what happened. It changes how much mental space I'm willing to keep giving it.

And honestly, I think we could all use a little more room in our heads.

Looking back, I can see there was a turning point in my healing.For a long time, I was focused on the past.Why did this ...
09/04/2026

Looking back, I can see there was a turning point in my healing.

For a long time, I was focused on the past.

Why did this happen?
Why did they hurt me?
Why couldn't things have been different?

Those questions never gave me the peace I was looking for.

Then my focus changed.

Instead of asking why, I started asking, "How do I move forward from here?"

In 12-step recovery, they call that being solution focused.

I love that phrase.

Or, in my own words...
"Stop wallowing in self-pity and get to work fixing yourself!" 😊

That doesn't mean ignoring the hurt.

It means deciding that my future deserves at least as much attention as my past.

For me, that's when healing became possible.

🍃 For a free eBook on releasing resentment:
https://profoundway.com/forgiveness-freebie-196407

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