07/31/2026
Lesson 15484 on how to have healthy relationships.
Sometimes we’re loud and belligerent because we’re used to not being heard. Sometimes we are highly reactive because we want desperately to throw off any kind of threat.
It feels totally justified and makes perfect sense to us in the moment, but it rarely gives us the results we want.
Don’t get me wrong, getting somebody told can feel good. You feel justified . . . strong. . . dominate.
But in the end, you haven’t created any kind of permanent result. You’ll have to do again and again.
And while all that is going on, you’re totally dysregulated and out of control. Remember I told you that the best control in the whole world is having control over yourself. It strengthens your position and maintains your peace.
Moreover, it keeps your connection with God intact. That is the safest place to be.
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” [Hebrews 12:4]
I know it can be hard to believe, but you can be both assertive and respectful at the same time. You can be kind and hold boundaries. It just takes practice!
David said, “Put a guard around my mouth, keep watch at the door of my lips.” [Psalm 141:3]
He’s not saying don’t say anything. He’s demonstrating the desire to please the Lord in how He uses his words.
Remember that God is your defender and protector. You don’t always need to clap back.
