Shannon Abell- Individuals, Couples & Family Counselor

Shannon Abell- Individuals, Couples & Family Counselor When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary.

Goodnight, Wednesday. 🌙You do not have to solve tomorrow tonight.The unanswered message, unfinished task, difficult conv...
08/27/2026

Goodnight, Wednesday. 🌙
You do not have to solve tomorrow tonight.
The unanswered message, unfinished task, difficult conversation, and worry circling your mind can wait. Rest is not avoiding your responsibilities—it is giving your mind and body what they need to face them.
Before sleep:
• Write down what can wait until tomorrow.
• Unclench your jaw and lower your shoulders.
• Take five slow breaths, making each exhale longer than the inhale.
• Remind yourself: “Nothing else is required of me tonight.”
You have carried enough for one day. Let Wednesday end without demanding that everything be figured out.
Sleep well. Tomorrow can meet you after you have rested. 💙
—Shannon Abell, Therapist

Wednesday evening therapy thought:You are allowed to be unavailable for a little while.You do not have to answer every m...
08/27/2026

Wednesday evening therapy thought:
You are allowed to be unavailable for a little while.
You do not have to answer every message immediately.
You do not have to solve every problem tonight.
You do not have to remain emotionally accessible to everyone when you are running on empty.
Sometimes we stay constantly available because we fear disappointing people, appearing selfish or missing something important. But being reachable every moment can keep the nervous system in a state of alert—always listening, anticipating and preparing to respond.
That isn’t connection. That is exhaustion.
Try creating a small boundary around your evening:
• Put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” for 30 minutes.
• Let a message wait until you have the emotional energy to answer.
• Choose one concern that belongs to tomorrow—not tonight.
• Lower the lights and reduce the noise around you.
• Unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders and take five slow breaths.
• Ask yourself, “What would help me feel safe and settled right now?”
You can love people without being continuously available to them. You can care deeply and still need quiet. You can be dependable without abandoning yourself.
Rest does not have to be earned by reaching complete exhaustion.
Let this evening belong to you for a little while.
—Shannon Abell, Therapist

Wednesday therapy thought:A difficult feeling can visit without becoming your permanent address.When sadness arrives, th...
08/26/2026

Wednesday therapy thought:
A difficult feeling can visit without becoming your permanent address.
When sadness arrives, the mind may whisper, “I will always feel this way.” When anxiety appears, it may insist, “Something bad is about to happen.” Anger may demand an immediate reaction.
But feelings are experiences—not instructions, identities or predictions.
Instead of saying, “I am anxious,” try saying, “I notice anxiety is here.”
That small shift reminds you that anxiety is something you are experiencing—not everything you are.
Try the N.A.M.E. practice:
N — Notice
Where do you feel the emotion in your body? Your chest, stomach, jaw, shoulders or hands?
A — Allow
Stop fighting the fact that the feeling is present. You don’t have to like it or agree with it to acknowledge it.
M — Make one safe choice
Take a walk, drink water, write, breathe slowly, step away from an argument or reach out to someone supportive.
E — Exhale
Lengthen your exhale and give your nervous system time to recognize that this moment can be survived.
You can feel sad without surrendering hope.
You can feel anxious without obeying fear.
You can feel angry without causing harm.
You can feel disappointed without deciding that you are a failure.
Let the feeling sit beside you—but don’t hand it the keys.
Listen for its message. Care for what it needs. Then allow it to move at its own pace.
And if a feeling remains intense, begins affecting daily life or feels too heavy to carry alone, reaching out for help is part of caring for yourself.
Feelings are messengers—not permanent addresses.
—Shannon Abell, Therapist

Good morning, Wednesday.Sometimes the middle of the week feels heavy—not because of what is happening right now, but bec...
08/26/2026

Good morning, Wednesday.
Sometimes the middle of the week feels heavy—not because of what is happening right now, but because our minds are trying to live in three places at once.
We are replaying what happened yesterday, managing everything required today and worrying about what might happen tomorrow.
That is a lot for one nervous system to carry before breakfast.
Anxiety pulls the mind into the future. Regret pulls it into the past. Grounding brings us back to the only place where we can actually make a choice: this moment.
Try this Wednesday-morning check-in:
• What is truly happening right now?
• What am I predicting that has not happened?
• What am I carrying from yesterday?
• What can wait until later?
• What belongs to this hour?
Then use the 3–2–1 return:
3 — Notice three things you can see, hear or feel.
2 — Choose two priorities that genuinely matter today.
1 — Take one small action within the next ten minutes.
You do not need to complete the week this morning. You do not need to solve Friday’s problems on Wednesday. You do not need to carry yesterday’s regrets, today’s responsibilities and tomorrow’s possibilities all at the same time.
Planning for the future is helpful. Living there all day is exhausting.
Come back to Wednesday.
Come back to this hour.
Start with what is actually yours to do now.
—Shannon Abell, Therapist

Goodnight, Tuesday.If your mind has clocked in for the night shift—replaying conversations, rewriting responses, predict...
08/26/2026

Goodnight, Tuesday.
If your mind has clocked in for the night shift—replaying conversations, rewriting responses, predicting tomorrow and trying to solve everyone else’s feelings—it is officially working outside business hours.
Your brain is not a 24-hour customer service department.
You do not have to answer every question tonight.
You do not have to make sense of someone’s silence tonight.
You do not have to decide the future of a relationship tonight.
You do not have to fix tomorrow before it arrives.
An exhausted mind often makes everything feel more urgent, more personal and more permanent than it actually is.
Try this “closing routine” before sleep:
• Write down what needs your attention tomorrow.
• Choose one small first step for the morning.
• Ask, “Is this truly urgent—or am I feeling anxious?”
• Unclench your jaw and lower your shoulders.
• Take five slow breaths, making each exhale longer.
• Tell yourself, “No more decisions tonight.”
Resting does not mean you are ignoring your life. It means you are refusing to solve it with a tired brain.
Some things will still be unfinished when you close your eyes. Let them be unfinished.
Tomorrow can hold tomorrow.
Close the mental tabs. Turn off the internal customer-service line. The night shift is over.
Sleep well. You have done enough for today.
—Shannon Abell, Therapist

Good afternoon, Tuesday.Getting back into a school routine is more than setting an alarm. High-school students are adjus...
08/25/2026

Good afternoon, Tuesday.
Getting back into a school routine is more than setting an alarm. High-school students are adjusting to earlier mornings, longer days, homework, social pressure, changing expectations—and trying to remember everything at once.
For student-athletes, the school day doesn’t end when the bell rings. Practice, games, travel, physical exhaustion, academic pressure and expectations to perform can leave very little energy for homework or emotional recovery.
Feeling scattered does not mean you are lazy or failing. It may mean your mind and body need a predictable routine again. “I’m working on getting back on track. Can you help me decide what I should complete first?”
Talk to a teacher, coach, parent, counselor or therapist. Asking for a plan is a responsible choice—not an excuse.
And one rule especially for student-athletes:
Recovery is part of training.
Food, hydration, sleep, emotional rest and asking for support are not signs of weakness. You are a whole person—not a grade, a starting position, a scoreboard or a highlight reel.
If anxiety is regularly interfering with sleep, school attendance, eating, concentration or enjoyment of your sport, please tell a trusted adult. You do not have to wait until everything falls apart to deserve support.
Getting back on track does not require a perfect week. It begins with one realistic next step today.
—Shannon Abell, Therapist 💛💚

Goodnight, Monday 🌙Sleep and mental health are not separate—they continually affect one another.When we do not get enoug...
08/25/2026

Goodnight, Monday 🌙
Sleep and mental health are not separate—they continually affect one another.
When we do not get enough quality sleep, it can become harder to regulate emotions, cope with change, concentrate, solve problems, and manage stress. Ongoing sleep deficiency is also associated with depression and other mental-health concerns. NIH/NHLBI
The connection also works in reverse. Anxiety may keep the mind racing. Depression may disrupt sleep or make getting out of bed difficult. Trauma can leave the body feeling too alert to rest. Stress can cause us to wake throughout the night.
One difficult night does not mean your mental health is failing—but persistent sleep problems deserve attention.
A few supportive habits:
Keep a consistent bedtime and wake time.
Make the bedroom cool, quiet, and relaxing.
Turn off electronics at least 30 minutes before bed.
Avoid caffeine late in the day.
Seek professional support when sleep problems continue or interfere with daily life.
Sleep is not wasted time. It helps your brain process, regulate, recover, and prepare for tomorrow. CDC
Take care of your sleep, and you are also taking care of your mental health. 🤍
— Shannon Abell, Therapist

Monday Evening Therapy Thought 🌙Something I heard myself say this week:“A boundary is not a debate you have to win.”So m...
08/25/2026

Monday Evening Therapy Thought 🌙
Something I heard myself say this week:
“A boundary is not a debate you have to win.”
So many people exhaust themselves trying to explain a boundary perfectly—hoping that if they provide enough reasons, the other person will finally agree that the boundary is reasonable.
But agreement is not required.
A boundary is not about controlling another person. It communicates what you will do to care for yourself:
“If the yelling continues, I’m going to end the conversation.”
“I’m not available to discuss this tonight.”
“If plans change at the last minute, I may not be able to attend.”
You can listen to someone’s feelings without surrendering your limit. You can be kind without writing a closing argument for your own needs.
Sometimes the healthiest sentence has a period—not another paragraph. 🤍
— Shannon Abell, Therapist

Monday Evening Therapy Thoughts 🌙We live in a world where the workday can follow us home through emails, notifications, ...
08/24/2026

Monday Evening Therapy Thoughts 🌙
We live in a world where the workday can follow us home through emails, notifications, unfinished tasks, and the pressure to remain available.
Your body may be home while your mind is still answering questions, replaying conversations, solving tomorrow’s problems, or preparing for the next demand. If you cannot immediately relax, you are not doing rest incorrectly. Your nervous system may simply need a transition.
Try creating a small “arrival ritual” tonight:
Put your phone down for ten minutes.
Change into comfortable clothes.
Wash your face or take a warm shower.
Unclench your jaw and lower your shoulders.
Ask yourself, “What can safely wait until tomorrow?”
You are allowed to be unavailable. You are allowed to stop producing. You are allowed to let this day end.
You made it home. Give your mind and body a little time to arrive, too. 🤍
— Shannon Abell, Therapist

Good morning, Monday. ☀️Before you let notifications, headlines, reminders, and everyone else’s needs decide how you fee...
08/24/2026

Good morning, Monday. ☀️
Before you let notifications, headlines, reminders, and everyone else’s needs decide how you feel today—pause and check in with yourself.
Monday anxiety can begin before our feet even touch the floor because our minds try to carry the entire week at once. Take one quiet minute and ask:
What am I feeling?
What do I need this morning?
What is one manageable thing I can do next?
You don’t have to emotionally live the entire week today. You only have to meet this moment—and then the next one.
Be gentle with yourself this morning. 🤍
— Shannon Abell, Therapist

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