DBT Works, Concord, MA (2026)

06/20/2026

Most people picture trauma as one terrible event. But for a lot of folks who look and feel traumatized while insisting "nothing bad ever happened to me," the real story is something quieter: traumatic invalidation.

Traumatic invalidation is what happens when your experiences get dismissed over and over. For highly sensitive people, those everyday moments can add up to full-blown PTSD. In fact, many clients rank traumatic invalidation as more distressing than the "capital T" traumas they've also lived through.

Why does traumatic invalidation hit so hard? Because on top of the original pain, there's a second layer: nobody recognizes it as trauma. So you end up blaming yourself.

Here's the part I ✨love✨ about this framing: It lets everyone put down the blame. A child can be genuinely traumatized and their parents can have been loving and doing their best. Sometimes what works beautifully for one kid just isn't the right fit for another — and no one's the villain.

The hopeful part? The same evidence-based treatment used for other forms of trauma (DBT-PE) works for traumatic invalidation too.

For more on traumatic invalidation, check out this week's blog post: https://www.dbtworks.com/blog/capital-t-vs-lower-case-t-trauma-an-introduction-to-traumatic-invalidation

06/14/2026

"That's not fair! I hate you!" No teen actually means this. But when emotions are running the show, we all say things we don't mean.

This is the two-step cycle (aka "the transactional model") behind almost every blowup:
They don't say "I'm hurt." They say something bigger and messier.

You try to help—"calm down," "that's not true"—and they hear: "Your reaction is the problem."

Repeat. Escalate. Repeat.

Once you see this pattern unfolding around you, you can't unsee it.

The way out is simpler than you'd think:
→ Stay regulated. Even one calm person changes everything.
→ Validate before you fix. People want to feel heard, not corrected.
→ Say what you actually feel. Clearly. Without the judgment.

That's it. That's the whole game.

See our latest blog post (DBT Works) for more on the transactional model and how to go from "ineffective transactions" to "effective" ones.

https://www.dbtworks.com/blog/how-everyday-interactions-go-off-the-railsnbspthe-transactional-model

06/06/2026

That inner voice telling you you're "overreacting" or being "too dramatic"? That's self-invalidation—and it tends to make painful emotions grow louder, not quieter.

Many of us learned it from years of being invalidated by others. The good news: self-validation is a skill you can build.

Our latest blog post breaks down 7 practical DBT-informed ways to quiet self-criticism and start treating your own experience as something worth paying attention to, including:

→ Noticing and labeling self-invalidation (without judging yourself for it)
→ Shifting from judgment to simply describing your experience
→ Practicing self-compassion—the kindness you'd offer anyone else
→ Using mindfulness, self-expression, and self-care to send yourself the message that you matter

Validation is a human need. When there's no one around to offer it, learning to give it to yourself is key.

Full post: https://www.dbtworks.com/blog/how-to-cut-down-on-self-criticism-judgment-and-invalidation

04/25/2026

Most of us were never taught *how* to ask for what we need — clearly, confidently, and in a way that the other person can actually receive.

That's exactly what the DBT skill DEAR MAN is for.

It's a simple framework:
✅ Get on the same page about the facts
✅ Share your feelings without blame
✅ Make a clear, specific ask
✅ Show the other person what they gain by saying yes
✅ Stay focused, stay confident, and be ready to negotiate

This week on the DBT Works blog we break down DEAR MAN, step-by-step.
https://www.dbtworks.com/blog/how-to-get-what-you-want-from-other-people-according-to-dbt

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