08/04/2021
Summer of Love week 5:
🤍Create shared meaning
💙Make life dreams come true
“One day I want to see the northern lights” “I would love to have a boat to live and work on full time, while I travel around” “I want a lover and a best friend” “I want a life that is a healthy balance of work and play” “I want multiple streams of income so I can feel more financially free”
These are some examples of my and my partners life dreams, and until meeting each other, we were dreaming of them on our own.
When we choose partners, we are ultimately choosing someone to share in those dreams with. We are choosing someone who understands why these things are so meaningful to us, and who wants to be there to see us realize them.
In the Gottman’s over 30 years of research, they found that couples who had a strong foundation as outlined in “The Sound Relationship House” were happiest, and maintained that happiness over time. In the past five weeks I have outlined the main principles of the sound relationship house. This begins from the time we first meet and evolves over the course of the relationship. Last week we explored managing conflict, one of the most important aspects that will either make or break a relationship. Right at the top sits the two that I am writing about today…
This final exercise is to sit down with your partner and share your life dreams with one another. These dreams do not necessarily have to include your partner in them, but the important piece is to express why these dreams you have for yourself and your life are so meaningful. How do you see yourself? How do you feel in that vision? What’s stopped you from seeing that dream come alive? What does “balance” or “lover and best friend” even mean to us?
If we are in support of our partners, the growth and expansion of ourselves, our partners and our relationship should fire us up! How can you continue to support life dreams and create shared meaning in your own relationship? Come up with some action steps to be in support of one another and as always, have fun lovers!
