08/20/2026
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This page was born of relationship issues and dealing with them. The most important relationship all of us can have, is with God who gives me the strength to share my pain to help others come to him. Be one more for Jesus !!.
MY DAILY BATTLE
Grief doesn’t knock. It kicks the door in. Three years out and I still get ambushed without warning. One minute I’m functioning like a normal person, and the next I’m standing in a parking lot or sitting in my truck while the weight of my boy being gone hits so hard I can barely breathe. No trigger. No slow build-up. Just the sudden, crushing reality that Bret's not coming back….ever.
This past week the wave that rolled over me was pure anger. I’m not an angry man by nature. I don’t live there. But grief brought that emotion with it—deep, raw, and heavy. Not primarily at God. Not even mainly at the enemy. At the waste. I watch people treat life like it’s disposable, getting their feelings shredded over opinions, politics, church drama, and petty offenses that won’t matter in five years, much less in eternity. They argue for hours about nonsense while real souls are slipping into eternity every single day, playing games with time like they own an unlimited supply.
My son is dead. Thirty one years old. Gone. And people are still out here wasting the very thing I would give anything to have back for him. You don’t understand that until you’ve stood over a casket that should never have been closed. Until you’ve had to explain to your other kids why their brother isn’t coming home. Until the silence in the house becomes louder than any sermon you’ve ever preached.
Grief is not tidy. It is not orderly. It does not care about your schedule or your strength. It comes in waves that will knock you down when you least expect it, and sometimes the only emotion left standing is a furious ache that the world keeps spinning like nothing happened. I’m learning to let it come. I’m learning that the anger is part of the love. I’m learning that the people who tell you to “move on” have never had to bury their child.
If you’re listening, stop wasting it. Stop letting small things own large parts of your heart. Stop arguing about what doesn’t matter while the people you love are still breathing. Life is short. Eternity is long. And some of us are carrying a weight you cannot imagine.
Bret, I still miss you every day. And some days that missing turns into a fire I don’t know what to do with. But I’m still walking. One wave, one day. One step at a time.
