Cindy Brown M. S., LPC, NCC, CCTP

05/04/2024

Very true!

We may not realize when we violate our own boundaries if we grew up in an environment where boundaries were rarely respected. It may be difficult for us to identify when we might start to feel small, neglected, or resentful because we may have become desensitized to these experiences.

Repeated experiences in our lives start to feel normal to us even when they are not good for us.
As children, if we were not given healthy permission to say no, then we may have difficulty to be okay with saying no in adulthood. If we never learned to take up space, then we may be later challenged to express our opinions and thoughts in a room full of people. If there was no room to talk about our emotions growing up, then it might be hard for us to name what we are feeling and acknowledge it.

The good news is that we all have the power to change. Our brains create new patterns and behaviors through neuroplasticity. It takes more work on our end initially, but with consistent practice, these behaviors become automatic to us. However, the first step is understanding ourselves better. How were your boundaries violated and neglected in the past? How does that impact your ability to set boundaries for yourself?

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Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

04/05/2024

So very true!

Have you ever stopped to consider the strange dichotomy between our hopes for our children in the future and how we want them to behave today?

Today is all about compliance. We want children to always do what we (and others) tell them to do, to not question us or complain, to be subservient and easy to control. If we think about our goals for them when they're in their twenties and beyond we want the complete opposite for them. We want them to aim for the sky and smash glass ceilings, we want them to be true to themselves, with a strong voice that they're not afraid to use to question injustice. We want them to respect themselves and know that respect should be earned, not demanded. We want them to be inquisitive, to explore the world, to try out different things. We want them to stand up for their beliefs. Basically, we want them to be completely different to the easy to control little child that is easier to parent. No wonder our 'job' is so hard. We have our goals and expectations confused and muddled and so rarely do we stop to admire a so-called 'stubborn' and 'willful' child for their amazing grit and resilience, or to celebrate a tween who answers back when they perceive an injustice has occurred.

The more I write about parenting, the more come back to the idea that it really shouldn't be about trying to change our children, but instead, changing the expectations we have, which are largely inherited by a misinformed society whose beliefs are still entrenched in outdated authoritarian views of childhood. I think it's about time we shift this train of thought, don't you?

For more reframing and tips on how to discipline mindfully, so you can have boundaries and rules today, but still nurture your child’s amazing traits for tomorrow. Check out my Gentle Discipline Book:

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02/19/2024

The power of feeling understood.