09/16/2026
Eating disorders can be incredibly difficult to understand. They can affect the person experiencing them, but they can also deeply affect the people who love them. An eating disorder is a serious mental and physical health condition that involves significant disturbances in eating behaviors and may involve thoughts or concerns about food, body image, weight, or shape. Eating disorders can take many forms, including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge-eating disorder, ARFID, and other patterns of disordered eating. One of the most important things to remember: You cannot always tell that someone has an eating disorder by looking at them. Eating disorders can affect people of any age, gender, body size, or background. Someone may appear healthy on the outside while experiencing a great deal of distress internally. Eating disorders are not a choice, a phase, or something someone can simply “snap out of.” They are serious conditions, but recovery is possible with appropriate support and treatment.
Sometimes an eating disorder may show up through:
- Restricting or significantly changing food intake
- Binge eating or feeling a loss of control around eating
- Eating in secret or avoiding meals with others
- Compulsive or excessive exercise
- Increasing anxiety or distress surrounding food or eating
- Becoming increasingly preoccupied with weight, food, or body image
- Avoiding certain foods or having a very limited range of foods
- Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities
- Feelings of shame, guilt, fear, or distress related to eating or one's body
If you are concerned about someone you love, you don't need to have the perfect words.
You can start with something simple:
“I love you, and I’m here for you.”
"I’ve noticed that you seem to be having a difficult time, and I’m concerned about you.
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”
“I may not completely understand what you’re experiencing, but I’m willing to listen.”
Try to make the conversation about how they are feeling rather than how they look. Avoid comments about someone's weight, body, appearance, calories, or whether they “look healthy.” Instead, listen with compassion, avoid judgment, and encourage them to connect with appropriate professional support.
And while we talk about eating disorders, we also want to make room for something that can sometimes get lost in the conversation: Compassion for yourself. Our bodies change. They change as we grow, as we age, through different seasons of life, and sometimes in ways we never expected. Those changes do not make our bodies less deserving of care, kindness, or respect. Caring for ourselves can mean learning to listen to our bodies rather than constantly fighting against them. It can mean allowing ourselves flexibility with food, letting go of the idea that there is one “perfect” way to eat, and choosing foods that help us feel nourished, energized, satisfied, and cared for. It is important to remember that health is not defined by a number on a scale, a clothing size, or how closely our body matches someone else's.
If you are recovering from an eating disorder, struggling with your relationship with food or your body, or simply trying to develop a more peaceful relationship with yourself, you deserve compassion along the way. If you are the person who loves someone struggling with an eating disorder, you deserve compassion, too. Supporting someone through an eating disorder can bring fear, confusion, frustration, and helplessness. You don't have to know exactly what to say or how to fix it. You don't have to carry it all by yourself. Loved ones can be an incredibly important source of encouragement and support during treatment and recovery.
At The Fountains Counseling Center, our team is trained and ready to support individuals who are struggling with eating disorders and related concerns. We are also here for the parents, partners, family members, and friends who love someone with an eating disorder and may need support navigating their own experience.
If you or someone you love is struggling, please know that help is available. Recovery is possible, and no one should have to navigate this alone. For additional support for Eating Disorders, we have included the National Alliance for Eating Disorders Helpline. They can be reached at 866-662-1235. The helpline is available Monday–Friday, 9:00 AM–7:00 PM EST.
Be gentle with yourself. Be patient with your body. You are worthy of care in every season of life.
