06/27/2026
Gaye Assman, 90, of Calhoun, Georgia, passed away Friday morning, finally leaving the rest of Gordon County the opportunity to finish a sentence uninterrupted.
Born in 1936, Gaye spent ninety years perfecting the fine art of unsolicited advice, passive-aggressive compliments, and reminding complete strangers that they were “doing it wrong.”
She worked for many years as a church secretary, where she somehow managed to know every prayer request before it was requested. She was also an accomplished neighborhood watchdog who considered closed curtains suspicious and new vehicles worthy of immediate investigation.
Gaye enjoyed gospel music, soap operas, crossword puzzles, clipping coupons, and calling the city whenever someone parked on the street for longer than she thought appropriate. She firmly believed that no waitress had ever refilled sweet tea quickly enough and that every cashier under the age of thirty lacked “proper work ethic.”
Family members fondly recall that every holiday meal began with Gaye criticizing how everyone else cooked and ended with her asking for the recipe.
Gaye was an avid NASCAR fan.
She was preceded in death by several friends who, according to Gaye, “never could do anything right anyway.”
She is survived by her children, Michael, Donna, and Randy; seven grandchildren who all learned to let her calls go to voicemail; eleven great-grandchildren whom she loved deeply but still insisted were “too skinny”; and her elderly dachshund, Peanut, who ignored her almost as effectively as everyone else.
A Memorial Gathering will be held Thursday evening 4:00 pm until 8:00 pm at Ahmad D’Shanti Funeral Home- Dalton location where mourners are respectfully asked to refrain from rearranging the floral displays, as Gaye would undoubtedly have had opinions about them.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to a local senior center—or simply straighten a crooked picture frame in her honor.
The family asks that Gaye be remembered as she truly was: sharp-tongued, impossible to win an argument with, fiercely devoted to her family, and absolutely convinced that everyone else was the problem.
Arrangements are entrusted to Ahmad D’Shanti Funeral Home, where our family will treat your family like family.
