Compassion Power

09/06/2026

We can’t change the past, but we can change the meaning we give to it. All experiences have a wide range of possible meanings. The grand human challenge is choosing the most plausible meanings that make life better.

08/30/2026

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anger-in-the-age-of-entitlement/202606/how-to-increase-compassion-and-lower-contempt-in

When we introduce facts in an argument, the subtext is that our partners have no right to be hurt or, worse, there’s something wrong with them for being hurt.

08/28/2026

Human compassion and shame evolved synergistically to strengthen the emotional bonds once necessary for survival. Compassion builds intimate bridges, shame tells us the bridge is severed. When we fail at compassion shame occurs automatically to motivate reconnection.

When partners blame their shame on each other or use it as a weapon against each other, their shame turns into resentment and anger that eventually destroys the bridge between them.

08/26/2026

When we focus on compassion in love relationships, accountability tends to follow naturally. When we focus on accountability, compassion recedes. In over 40 years of practice, I’ve never seen people who demand accountability from others be accountable themselves.

08/22/2026

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anger-in-the-age-of-entitlement/202411/pursuing-value-vs-pursuing-power

The hidden virus that infects our nation and our relationships is the separation of power from responsibility.

08/19/2026

Every ideology becomes dangerous when its labels define people. Dehumanization begins when people are reduced to categories.

08/14/2026

When asking for behavior change, especially under stress or when arguing, stay in touch with what you love and appreciate about your partner and the importance of the relationship to you. You can successfully negotiate only if you show value and respect.

08/12/2026

When we act on the emotions that make us feel vulnerable, they’re self-correcting. Cover them up with blame and denial, they ruin our lives. See: A Better Present

When you try to make emotional situations better, do they tend to get worse?

08/05/2026

Self-loathing, emotional stagnation, and numbness are the dysfunctional defenses against guilt for violating humane values. Humane behavior is the only lasting amelioration.