06/17/2026
Home, Birth Center, Hospital or Rural Church Parking Lot, Baby’s Choice
A beautiful morning began with several visits with expectant families and those with fresh little ones. We cherish these opportunities to connect with each family, listen to how their lives are unfolding, intersecting with information, resources, offerings, support and connections where we can and when families desire.
One of the visits was with a family planning a special birth with a bottom first baby. Baby had chosen the position early in their journey and had not wavered from their position of comfort. Lots of informed discussions, family efforts to see if baby was interested in trying another position (Spinning Babies techniques), support of community providers (chiropractor, acupuncturist, massage therapist, supportive MD). Baby was so clear in their consistent message to us all, this is my way to come into the world. We all listened and began to co-create a plan to honor what they had been communicating.
In addition to deep conversations about options, informed benefits and risks of these options, a conversation we have with every family we serve, we offered many resources for the family to explore as they tried to select the option that was right for their family when answering the who, what, when and where’s. This family was very, very clear from the beginning that their baby wanted to be born vaginally. They felt it was the best choice for them after considering all the statistics, evidence, on-going questions and conversation with us and listening to their intuition and heart.
Informed Choice is a foundational element of many home birth midwifery practices. This belief is alive in every person who supports our practice, it feels like a third partner in the practice for both Emily and I:)
All too often we have witnessed, and experienced personally, lengthy Informed Consent documents presented, with unfamiliar language, in emergency circumstances or minutes before an important procedure or provider visit. There is often a sense of urgency to sign this or feeling like there is not time to review and research the Informed Consent, let alone time to ask questions.
Emily and I wanted something more for the families we serve. We wanted to reduce vulnerability, enhance empowerment and assure, to the best of our ability, an Informed Choice option.
We understand that sometimes in a conversation we may have a belief that we are understanding each other (families and their chosen support circle) and that there can be an actual, unintended, missing piece of clarity. Long ago we decided to add in another layer of ensuring we are speaking and sharing a common understanding through co-creating a ‘living document’ with the family. For unique and special circumstances that reveal themselves during pregnancy, after an in-depth conversation and time given for families to explore their additional questions, options and their own research, if their choice continues to be to welcome baby at home, we begin the process of co-creating a living document of understanding and choice. The family takes initial leadership in writing this document, reviewing the benefits and risks and why they are making the choice for their birth and family; sharing their understanding and then we explore this document together. It is a beautiful resource for us to have additional conversations and offering of resources, if we find that we have missed conveying a benefit, risk or there are additional layers to share with the family. The document flows back and forth for us all and is adjustable at any time for the family.
So the planning unfolded, welcoming baby at home was the family’s choice and the planning continued for this option:) There was only one hiccup to navigate around.
Through wisdom and experience, we plan for every special circumstance birth to have two skilled and experienced midwives support this labor and birth. There are additional layers of support and safety in planning with an enhanced birth team. Of course we understand that birth can sometimes show us surprises in its wonderful wildness, and we practice together for these rare occurrences and continue to sit at the feet of mentors and wisdom holders to help us enhance and deepen our understanding and skills to respond and support.
The hiccup was that there was a tiny window of time when one of us would not be available. In a commitment to honor this family's choice to welcome baby at home, we reached out to other breech skilled midwives who lived with-in a reasonable distance of reaching the family before baby arrived, who could join us. Unfortunately no one was available, having full schedules, having their own baby or being on vacation during that window of time.
We moved on to co-creating again, a plan B for this small window of time. There is a treasured hospital based provider in the region, who is committed to informed choices for families and also skilled and comfortable with attending breech births. After a long, supportive and informative visit with the family and provider, this was a desired plan B, if baby chose to arrive during the small window of time that a team member was unavailable. Whenever there is a plan B option, our circle of support continues to provide care and support, even if the location of where baby is welcomed shifts. Together, family, hospital provider and our team, created a plan for baby’s arrival if they choose their birthday during that window of time. We now know baby was giggling as we planned away:)
As I drove out of town to begin the day's visits, I saw a mama deer dancing in a circle with its sweet baby triplets in the middle of the street before me. It was breathtaking and captivating to witness. It felt so sacred. Seeing deer in unusual activity has been a companion sign, for me, that something special related to a birth was going to unfold soon. The day felt even riper with excitement and anticipation as I drove on.
As we sat with this family in the morning, exploring the questions they brought, their experiences of the last week and their inner ways of knowing they were sharing about their baby and the journey before us, I could literally see an aura around this beautiful dyad. Everything within me knew that this was going to be the day their baby was beginning their journey. I do not see or experience this with every family/labor/birth and have learned to plan and pay attention to this beautiful gift and insight when it does reveal itself.
This was the day when plan B would be the next option for baby's arrival. I connected with the provider to re-confirm their availability and to give them an intuitional (and literal) ‘heads-up’:)
We finished visiting with all the families; we love these visit days:) Shared time with a new apprentice, building our relationship and also sharing more logistical planning supports that can help someone enter into this life of service. Then completed a task I have long wanted to accomplish. I actually drove by this family's home on my way home and wondered how their day was unfolding:)
Arriving home late in the late afternoon, I exhaled as I walked through the door, unwound my hair, took out my earrings and my phone rang. I knew, even before picking up my phone, who and what the call was going to be. Yes this wonderful family was letting us know baby was announcing its chosen birthday. Listening to what was unfolding, we encouraged timely travel to begin as labors can unfold faster when we have welcomed babies before. Hospital provider looped in, and our team began our journey toward the hospital to meet the family upon their arrival. I had texted the family a note of loving support and belief in their ability, choice and wisdom, enroute. As I sent the text I had a brief thought of wondering if I should try to find them and travel along with them enroute. I let this thought slide away as we were coming from different directions and would have likely caused unnecessary layers of stress and coordination for them while navigating labor and driving.
I arrived at the hospital parking lot and waited, their ETA time came and went, by a few minutes. I had this growing sense of amiss when a nurse came out and asked if I had connected with the provider. I thought they had meant earlier and said ‘yes’. They then shared that since baby is already born, they don’t know that the are coming here anymore. Wait a minute, what!!!!!
Yes, baby decided that a beautiful rural church parking lot was an amazing addition to their birth story. The family had called this wonderful provider enroute as labor quickly progressed and surges were now back-to back. The provider found them enroute and baby entered the world, bottom first, in this beautiful, empty church parking lot, minutes from my own home. Soon we joined the family, baby nursing and skin-to-skin, enjoying their first golden hour in the front seat of their car. Every wish and desire this family envisioned for their birth was manifested, except location. We quietly witnessed this breaktakingly beautiful nd extraordinary moment. In addition, logistically, we noticed that had arrived, this dyad was snuggling with a warm blanket cozied over them both, blankets and towels underneath to catch any additional fluids and the family having hydration and snacks along. Without rush out rush or influence, we asked what they would like to do now, complete there route to the hospital, head home or to another location. We slipped in several pads for any additional needs for flow absorption and within minutes everyone was embracing family and colleagues and our original birth circle was caravanning to their home.
Arrival was spectacular. Excited siblings and family were waiting in the driveway giddy with anticipation and arms open wide with love and support.
In the hours of nesting, nourishing, bathing, offerings to check out the physical and emotional wellbeing of everyone, and re-telling of the story, we came to learn that both parents had remarkable individual signs and circumstances that everything was lining up for baby’s arrival that day. We recalled the visit earlier in the day where we had reviewed all the options again for baby’s birth, the timeliness of heading to the hospital when labor showed itself because roadside was probably the least desirable option. We think baby heard ‘road-side’ and missed the piece about the least desirable option:) Learning the birth time, I also saw that I sent that encouraging text, just a few minutes before baby’s actual arrival. So many amazing and enjoyable layers to this little person's arrival into the world.
Hears to supporting family wisdom and self-determination, decades of collegial trust and trust built and the wilderness and lessons babies and birth offer.
