07/01/2021
Conventional obstetrics defines postpartum as the 6 weeks after birth. That’s wrong on so many levels. It ignores the phenomenal transition that happens in becoming a mother, one that takes more than 6 weeks.
It also doesn’t take into account tissue may take longer to heal, whether perineal stitches or from a cesarean, or a yoni sore from a natural birth, fluctuating hormones, breastfeeding, the fact that many women don’t want to have s*x or go back to work yet. Because they’re still in a transitional state. Even if birth and breastfeeding go smoothly and ‘perfectly’ it’s still a major physical and psychic adjustment and a steep learning curve.
In Natural Health After Birth (2002), I talk about the fourth trimester, a sacred time lasting closer to 6 months. In fact, I believe there should be no time limit as every experience, healing, and transformation is different. The extended postpartum period lasts as long as it takes for mama to feel like herself. Not her old self, because woven into the bones of birth is transformation - just like we don’t ‘bounce back’ to our pre-birth bodies, we can’t bounce back to our pre-birth selves. Instead, we are tasked with the challenge and opportunity of reinventing ourselves. Of finding a new self to settle into that feels right - a marriage of all the parts of you into a new whole, like when you lay your towel down in the sand and you have to scooch around until you find the place where the curves of your body can settle naturally into the grooves of the earth. That task, that journey, is postpartum.
Physically, that may be a few months - but emotionally, mentally, spiritually, the metamorphosis of going from birth and motherhood - matrescence - is ongoing. My kids are grown and I continue to redefine and transform myself in relationship to my mom-self and my personal self roles!
The gift we give to ourselves, and as women to each other, is to support however long it takes. Culturally with appropriate work leave, personally with bountiful love, encouragement. and empathy.
Tell me, how long did you feel postpartum, or are you in the midst of it?
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