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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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Marriage counselor, psychologist and coach dedicated to your love, happiness and success. Access advice, articles and podcasts at www.GrowingSelf.com.

"Like" to keep updates in your newsfeed! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching, based in Denver, Colorado. She's the author of "Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to an Ex Love," and the host of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Learn more about Dr. Bobby and her practice at www.growingself.com.

10/13/2026

There is a VERY big difference between:

“𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝟮𝟬 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲𝘀.”

and

“𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗜 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽.”

But when someone you love says, “𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲,” your nervous system may not hear the difference. It just hears: 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦’𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒.

That’s when the panic starts. You chase. You overanalyze. You replay every conversation. You try to fix everything immediately because the uncertainty feels unbearable.

But “I need space” can mean a lot of different things, and your job isn’t to guess. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗷𝗼𝗯 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿.

In my new episode with marriage and family therapist Jennifer Cunningham, we’re talking about the entire spectrum, from a healthy 20-minute timeout to emotional withdrawal, relationship breaks, and yes, the moments when “I need space” may actually mean “I want out.”

Because you deserve clarity. Not emotional purgatory.

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗞 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗗𝗠 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲.

10/10/2026

Want to take a timeout without making your partner panic?

𝗧𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸.

This sounds like such a small thing, but it can completely change how “I need space” lands.

Walking away in the middle of an argument with no explanation can feel like abandonment. Your partner doesn’t know if you need 20 minutes, the rest of the night, or if you’re done with the relationship entirely.

Instead, try:

“𝗜’𝗺 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄. 𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝟮𝟬 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻.”

And then here’s the important part: come back when you said you would.

Because healthy space isn’t about escaping the conversation. It’s about getting regulated enough to have the conversation without doing more damage.

In this week’s episode, Jennifer Cunningham and I are breaking down what “I need space” can actually mean, from a healthy timeout to something much bigger.

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗞 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗗𝗠 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲.

10/10/2026

You do not need to walk into a room full of strangers and suddenly become the most charismatic person there.

In fact, if that’s your idea of “making friends,” no wonder you’d rather stay home.

One of my favorite ideas from my conversation with Dr. Suzanne Wallach is that friendship often grows through something much less dramatic: 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.

You go to the same place. You see the same people. Faces become familiar. Eventually you say hello. Then maybe you have a conversation. And somewhere along the way, a stranger stops feeling like a stranger.

You don’t need to force connection. But you do have to create opportunities for it.

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗗𝗠 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲.

10/09/2026

You do not need to become an extrovert to have a great social life.

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is treating their social battery like something they need to overcome. They push themselves to stay longer, do more, keep talking, keep performing... and then wonder why socializing feels so exhausting that they don’t want to do it again.

What if, instead, you started paying attention to the moment your battery is getting low? Go to the party. Meet the friend. Take the class. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱.

Making friends doesn’t require overriding who you are. It requires learning how to create connection in a way that is actually sustainable for you.

You don’t need more extroversion. You might just need better boundaries with your own social energy.

Listen to the full podcast episode. Link in the comments.

10/09/2026

That distinction can change everything.

When the path you chose isn’t working, it’s so easy to assume the 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 is the problem. You start questioning the dream. Lowering your expectations. Telling yourself maybe you were unrealistic to want it in the first place.

But a strategy is just a route. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲.

In my conversation with Courtney De Ronde, we talk about how to stop confusing a plan that isn’t working with a life that isn’t possible. Because sometimes the answer isn’t more discipline, more effort, or giving up.

Sometimes you just need to 𝗿𝗲𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲.

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗡 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗗𝗠 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲.

10/08/2026

You can be disciplined, motivated, ambitious, and STILL not be getting where you want to go.

And this is where things get dangerous: You start interpreting a strategy that isn’t working as evidence that the dream isn’t working.

My guest Courtney De Ronde said something I can’t stop thinking about: “𝗪𝗲 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘂𝗽 𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆.”

Your destination and your route are two different things.

Before you give up, zoom out. Get clear about what you actually want. Look at the strategy you’re using to get there. Then ask yourself whether there might be another road.

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗡 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗗𝗠 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲.

10/08/2026

What if the dream isn’t the problem? 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗰 𝗰𝘂𝗹-𝗱𝗲-𝘀𝗮𝗰?

This is one of my favorite ideas from my conversation with Courtney De Ronde. When we’ve been working toward something for a long time and it’s STILL not happening, we tend to make a huge leap: 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑑𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘. 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑜.

But you may have only proven that 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴.

There could be five other routes you haven’t tried yet.

Before you abandon something you still deeply want, separate the vision from the strategy. Keep the destination on the table. Get curious about another way to reach it.

Because sometimes you don’t need to give up. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲.

𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗼𝗱𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲. 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀.

Address

4100 E. Mississippi Avenue , 4th Floor #413
Denver, CO
80246

Opening Hours

Monday	9am - 8pm
Tuesday	9am - 8pm
Wednesday	9am - 8pm
Thursday	9am - 8pm
Friday	9am - 6pm
Saturday	9am - 5pm
Sunday	9am - 5pm

Website

http://www.growingself.com/, https://www.growingself.com/denver-relationship-expert-life-coach-blog-podcast/

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