10/20/2026
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we talk about the importance of defusing from unhelpful thoughts. But sometimes it feels like we're arguing with our brain. The next time you recognize your thoughts aren't helpful, try this:
1. Take notice of the thought. Don't label it positive or negative. Don't jump to "fix it" mode. Just notice it.
2. Thank your mind. Tell your brain that you appreciate it trying to help you.
3. Offer your mind a new perspective.
"I'm a failure as a parent because I yelled at my kids right before school."
becomes
"Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I can see that you're trying to teach me about my actions. I'm going to look at this differently now, because one action doesn't automatically make me a failure."
And when you change your perspective, things might seem a little brighter. You may find a little bit more grace. And you might even learn how to work with your mind to come up with better ways of looking at problems.
