10/28/2026
BREAKING NEWS: OFFICIAL VOTING UPDATE
Following an extensive review involving numerous sniffs and consultation with the Committee, Detective Yogi has determined that voting for New Age Employee of the Month will be opened to all employees, clients, and members of the public.
Detective Yogi maintains that if Wh***ey truly exemplifies the standards of excellence associated with this distinction, those qualifications should withstand the scrutiny of a democratic process.
Voting will take place in the Music Room on Saturday, October 31, beginning at 4:00 AM and concluding promptly at 6:00 AM that same morning.
All participants are encouraged to arrive early, anticipate extended wait times, and bring a treat or two for personal consumption. Please note that treats intended to influence election personnel must be disclosed to the Committee.
When asked to elaborate on the decision, Detective Yogi issued the following statement: “Woof.”