Gift of Grit Counseling, LLC

Gift of Grit Counseling, LLC Welcome! I am Megan Secrest, a therapist, and board approved clinical supervisor.

07/25/2026

Relational maturity is the ability to use the skills and grounding anyways, despite what resistance you are met with. Think about the type of person you want to be. And after trying a few times with a skill, it’s okay to take a break. Repeat to yourself: “It’s a good day for me. A bad day for them. And a so-so day for the relationship.” I believe in you. You got this.

07/22/2026

There’s a concept in psychology called the “window of tolerance”, which is the zone where you’re regulated enough to actually think, feel, and process, instead of shutting down or spiraling. Within that window, we can receive, process, and integrate information.  Push too hard past it and you’re just flooding someone. Stay too safe and comfortable, and nothing new gets processed at all, you’re just… maintaining.

This tracks with something researchers have known for over a century: there’s a “zone of optimal arousal” where we’re alert, focused, and effective: a pattern confirmed across settings, from athletes to students.  Too little activation, no growth. Too much, no capacity to learn.

Good therapy lives in that zone on purpose. I hold the safety. I also load the bar to push you. Just a little bit further than you can go.

If every session feels good, you’re probably not in your window. And your should be pushing the bar while holding you, the person, in warm regard.

I’m excited that I’ve officially passed Round 1 of Certification with the Relational Life Institute! This process so far...
07/16/2026

I’m excited that I’ve officially passed Round 1 of Certification with the Relational Life Institute! This process so far has been enlightening, inspiring and refreshing. Relational Life Therapy, the education provided by Relational Life Institute Institute, and Terry Real work has created change in my personal life and in my work with clients. Onward to the last few rounds of work towards final certification and continued, lifelong learning.

07/16/2026

The people who create the most movement in their lives with therapy do two things well: radical honesty and radical accountability. For example, I’ve lost 90 pounds within the past 3 years. And within the last year, I’ve gained back 25 pounds. If I use the framework of radical honesty plus radical accountability, I can admit to myself that I’ve kinda been eating like a man who is 6’5” and works doubles in the oil field…. So it’s no wonder I’ve gained weight back. And now that I’ve been honest with myself, I can start to take accountability and create change. So try it today. If you’re in therapy and you are curious, ask your provider: “what’s one thing you’d want me to work towards changing today?” And see what they say.

07/10/2026

Change your perspective and you might find solutions you never knew existed.

07/07/2026

Until you figure out what causes reactivity in you, your growth will be stunted. You can’t always get what you want or need from others, and this includes on social media, in the therapy office, in our marriages, at your job, etc. So, what do you do about it? You get curious. You name the feeling. You ponder where else in your life have you felt that feeling, and you grieve the past while not letting it control your present.

The pause before you react is one part of a healthy relationship. Choosing your responses while thinking of how they bes...
07/07/2026

The pause before you react is one part of a healthy relationship. Choosing your responses while thinking of how they best serve the partnership is full respect living. Full respect living allows you to be the person you want to be, no matter how others react. It means you treat others with respect and dignity, especially when they are acting in ways that do not invite that kind of response in you. To sum it up, “It’s a good day for me, (relationally), a bad day for them (relationally), and a so-so day for the relationship.”

06/30/2026

Let’s also say: agreement doesn’t equal respect or happiness or intimacy, inherently. Disrespect is name calling, yelling, screaming, threatening, etc.

06/30/2026

If you wait for your partner to change before you will, then it’s akin to holding your breath underwater and waiting to grow gills. You can focus on things you can’t change (like your spouse) and you’ll consistently be disappointed when nothing shifts. Or you can begin to practice relational integrity and treat your partner according to your values and who you want to be, and how you want to be loved. Try that method for 30 days and let me know how it works for you!

05/20/2026

New episode is live! 🎙️

Have you ever felt stuck in the same argument, the same distance, the same pattern that just never changes?

This week I'm joined by Megan Secrest, LCSW — couples therapist, EMDR certified, and one of my favorite people to talk shop with — and we are getting into it.

We dig into Terry Real's five losing strategies from The New Rules of Marriage, walk through Megan's viral post "10 Fantastic Ways to Get Less of What You Want in Your Relationships," and talk about what's actually happening underneath the patterns that push people away — and what to do instead.

Spoiler: needing to be right, controlling, shutting down, retaliating, withdrawing — these aren't character flaws. They're strategies. Losing ones. And we all use them.

This one is for anyone in a relationship of any kind. You don't have to be in crisis for it to be useful.

🎧 Listen here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499943/episodes/19204193

Or find it wherever you listen to podcasts — search Let's Sit With This.

Know someone who needs this one? Share it with them. 🤍

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W. 15th Street
Edmond, OK
73013

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