07/21/2026
New episode is up, friends! 🎙️
I don't use the word "forgiveness" in my office. Haven't for a long time. In this episode of Let's Sit With This, I finally explain why.
Here's the thing — I hear "forgiveness" used two ways, and both bother me. Sometimes people use it to bypass their own pain and convince themselves they're "fine" with something that never got processed. And sometimes it gets used to pressure someone into staying close to the person who hurt them, even when that relationship still isn't safe.
So in my office, we talk about healing instead. Healing is one-sided — it's just about you, and it doesn't require the other person to be present, aware, or even alive. Reconciliation is a completely separate, optional step, and it's mostly on the person who caused the harm to earn their way back.
In this episode I get into:
Why forgiveness and healing aren't the same thing
The phrases people use (often without realizing it) to guilt someone into forgiving
A 4-part checklist I use with clients to tell if reconciliation is real, or just wishful thinking
The difference between "big wound" trauma and the slower damage of years of small hurts
If you've ever felt ashamed for not being "over" something yet, or been pushed to forgive someone who never actually changed — I made this one for you. Give it a listen and let me know what resonates. 💛
Listen here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499943/episodes/19528831
