Freedom Counseling Services, LLC

08/27/2026

Been talking a lot about this in recent sessions....

08/01/2026

For twelve years I organized my entire existence around one question. Is he okay.

Not am I okay. Is he okay. Because somewhere below any conscious thought, my nervous system had made a decision that his emotional state determined whether I was safe. If he was calm, I could breathe. If he was distant, I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what I did wrong. If he was upset, I dropped everything to fix it. Not because I was a good wife. Because I was a terrified child in an adult body who had learned that other people's emotions were my responsibility long before I knew what responsibility meant.

I did not know who I was outside of taking care of him. I genuinely did not. When the marriage ended, I stood there completely hollow. Not just heartbroken. Empty. Because I had poured everything I was into managing someone else and when that was gone there was nothing left to find.

That is not love, dear one. That is codependency. And it started long before that marriage. It started in a home where my mother's rage determined whether the day would be safe. Where my father's silence meant I had done something wrong. Where the only way to stay connected was to make myself small enough that nobody felt threatened by my existence.

If you are not okay, I cannot be okay. I said that with my whole body for decades without ever once saying it out loud.

Take the free quiz: https://www.lisaaromano.com/quiz

It's not you. It's your programming.

💬 Comment OKAY if you have been making yourself responsible for everyone else's emotional state.

07/23/2026

Sometimes it is hard to just be an observer and to not want to perform, fix, function, or think. Try to just sit with the moment.

07/17/2026

I wish...

07/11/2026

Go outside. Touch trees. Feel the warmth of the sun. It's free!

07/09/2026

07/07/2026

Take care of YOU and then focus on others.

07/07/2026

It's not easy to slow down when you live most of your life in survival. It is necessary for your health.

07/03/2026

It can be so hard to slow down. Our adult lives demand so much and can steal our precious moments. Let's collectively make an effort to notice the small joys.