06/16/2026
Two mornings. Same me. Completely different reactions.
Morning A:
It's Saturday and my favorite song is on. The kids are playing (nicely for once) and sunshine is pouring through the kitchen window. I'm unloading the dishwasher and drop a spoon. I pick it up. (Maybe sigh) Put it in the drawer. Move on.
Morning B:
It's 5am- no sleep, my one year old was teething all night, three year old was having night terrors and both were in our bed all night and my husband and I each had a foot in our ribs. I'm already not a morning person. The coffee I have been looking forward to since yesterday, I already know will have to get reheated today before I get to drink it. Kids are already screaming.
Mug slips. Hits my toe on the way down.
I am cussing. It is not pretty. I am ready to walk out the front door and keep going.
Same event. Completely different reaction.
This is what I mean when I talk about the window of tolerance - and it is the reason your toddler can handle something fine one day and completely fall apart over the exact same thing the next.
It is not inconsistency. It is not manipulation. It is a full cup.
Emotional regulation does not mean calm. It means having enough room left to handle what is in front of you. And sometimes - for them and for us - there is just nothing left in the tank.
I wrote a whole post about this - what regulation actually looks like at every age, why co-regulation starts with us, and the strategies I actually use with my boys when things get hard (including what NOT to do, because the "I guess I'll just leave without you" move? we need to talk about that).
Link in bio. Save this one for the next time the cup hits the floor.