05/27/2026
I can honestly say that I wasn't prepared for anything about literally any of these surgeries, and the only thing I know about the next surgeries is that I don't know anything about them.
But the thing I really had no preparation for is the math she's talking about. How utterly impossible it is to plan for literally anything because you have no idea how long your energy is going to last or when you're going to be able to think clearly.
I know that I need to be planning and putting together stuff for the therapy program. This is our big season. But the part of me that knows how to do that is just somewhere else. She feels like another person. This version of me thinks "How can I plan for an entire program when I don't know whether a quick trip to the store for 3 items is going to exhaust me for the rest of the day?"
So many days of the week, I'm in my pajamas in The Recliner of Dubious Moral Assembly at 2:00 pm. I'm still using the rollerator because I can never tell when I'm suddenly going to be exhausted and have to sit down. And I mean this is a fatigue that comes down like the hand of God and just literally Sits. You. Down. To say nothing of how much fitness and stamina and muscle you lose when you go from lifting 800 lbs of horse feed a week to holding down a recliner for months of recovery. I can get winded walking up the stairs. I tried to turn out Lilibet this morning and I couldn't walk fast enough to keep up with her. She's 13.2 hands 😂