06/13/2026
I haven’t been on much this week. Personal or here. But I’ve got to share a story with y’all. A month ago I got the notice that I had COPD. Ok I thought, there’s no cure, it’ll progressively get worse. I gave myself 10-12 years. Accepted it, but I’m always living on borrowed time so I’m used to it. About 10 days ago I thought I was having a COPD episode. It was pretty bad. Inhalers weren’t helping. I could barely sleep at night. By Tuesday I was so bad I had Mitzi take me to the VA ER in Reno. They admitted me and the doc that initially check my lungs said your lungs sound clear but I’m ordering a chest xray and cat scan. While I was waiting for the cat scan my nurse came in with meds and said take these. Was so bad I didn’t even question and just took them. In about 15 minutes my breathing slowed, heart rate and blood pressure went down and they finally got me stable. About 45 minutes later we were discharges with 2 new prescriptions. Natroxalone (because I finally admitted I a high functioning alcoholic) and gabapentin. Yesterday morning I took all my pills, including the new ones as directed. I get to work at 0630 and head out into the field about 0715. By 0730 I felt like I was drunk, staggering around, seeing things that weren’t there and hearing voices. My boss drives me home and I message my care team at the VA what’s going on. I had seriously cut my alcohol intake 3 days before this. Long story short I’m allergic to gabapentin and was going through withdrawals. Kaden got me to Banner and they immediately got me back. Hooked me up to all kids of machines, took about a gallon of blood, and hooked me up to an IV. I was in full panic mode again. They gave me some sedatives to get my heart rate, blood pressure and the tremors calmed down. I managed to get a good nights sleep and when I woke up this morning I felt pretty good. I had an appointment with my P*P at the VA today and told him everything that I had gone through in the last 10 days. He goes through all my charts and tells me what I went through was a 10 continuous day severe panic attack. That’s why my inhalers weren’t working. He asks what’s bothering me and I was honest and said the death sentence you gave me about a month ago. He goes dude your COPD is mild and we can control it. It’s not a problem. I instantly relaxed. He’s prescribed me an anti anxiety pill for when I start getting that way. I’m still breathing a little heavy and still shaking but I’ll survive. I’ve got an appointment coming up with an alcohol counselor so I’ll have hard support. I have my family for the soft support. Thanks if you read til the end. This is hard to admit publicly. But I’m strong enough to beat this.
Much love,
Jason
