Convo

Experts in mental health, relationships, families, and child development.

06/06/2026

There’s a part of me that wanted to not think too hard about the weird Jenny Mollen story that broke last week. But, it stayed on mind, provoking something I think I’ve gotten stuck on before.

Are we so lonely that we can’t even understand fully that true love comes in various versions?

Read my essay at substack.

Love. Jewish wisdom. Unending devotion.

06/03/2026

Children enter the world asking questions that, if all goes well, will only lead to more questions…persistent wonder.

Wonder isn’t childish. It is the foundation of learning, meaning-making, creativity, and faith.

My latest blog for Psychology Today explains that wonder is present from a child’s earliest days, offering tips for parents and early childhood teachers for how to support ongoing development in infancy, toddlerhood, and beyond.

What made you wonder today?

05/28/2026

Colleagues... we must stop giving out this outdated advice for how to care for your mental health despite stressful and traumatic content on social media:

“Limit social media.”
“Don’t click on things that may upset you.”

It ignores what we have learned in many years in the practice and research worlds, it adopts a personal responsibility model that we also know doesn’t work well across shared public health problems, and it creates increased mental health problems by creating cycles of brief episodes of self-control, shame, and isolation.

Most people today have limited control over their social media exposure. There have been whole congressional hearings and successful lawsuits against Meta about this. It is embedded in every facet of our lives and the ability to avoid or engage is largely dependent on age, gender, privilege, and other characteristics not in individuals’ control. Furthermore, once stressful content is in front of you, it is nearly impossible to not click on things that provoke one’s own emotions and experiences...that goes triple if the content is aligned with traumatic events.

Plus we send dual messages as a society: “don’t look away!” and “It’s your fault if you look.”

What do we do about the very real impacts of social media exposure on mental health? Here are some updated ideas that combine self-regulation as well as co-regulation, focusing on the aspects of social media engagement where do have MORE agency. And, as always, following the lead of the lastest research…

Check out my first substack ever for tips!

https://open.substack.com/pub/drerikaconvo/p/social-media-and-mental-health?r=2lf6xs&utm_medium=ios

05/21/2026

Such a joy to give this workshop in reflecive communication to a group of leaders in the education field recently. It’s part of a series on emotionally intelligent leadership practices.

Everyone knows the speaker-listener technique—the basic understanding that, when a person is speaking, the listener must pause and then be able to repeat back what was heard. Emotionally intelligent leaders, however, do so much more…they are able to create the space through conversation where ideas flourish, relationships expand, and good communication leads to real organizational growth.

05/10/2026

Just as you are.

Happy Mother’s Day.

05/04/2026

Look, it’s not your imagination … we have access to therapy (and it’s part of the zeitgeist) more than ever before (even though access still remains a problem…post for another time…). So why are we soooo unwell?

Because therapy isn’t magic. It’s not the thing that makes people well. It’s just a tool. We can’t send people to therapists and expect that to paper over the effects of harmful systems.

05/03/2026

Worries in early childhood are very normal and even essential to a child’s developing mind!

Worries are thoughts that we WORRY might happen, but they don’t always happen. It’s actually a part of imagination development! Feelings are how we connect to the world around us about REAL things. Beliefs are made up by what we think and feel OVER TIME.

Sometimes when we repeat worries to ourselves, we start hypnotizing ourselves. We start feeling things related to the worry (remember, it’s a thought that something MIGHT happen) not actual experience. Then, we form a belief over time that the worry is real.

Like this:

I’m worried there’s a monster in my room. I feel scared when I think about my worry. I worry and worry. Monsters must be real.

Help your child by disentangling things.

Name the worry:
You are worried there’s a monster. Thank you for telling me your worry so I can help you. But look that’s a worry inside your head. There are no monsters!

Connect back to feelings:
Let’s notice your sage and cozy room. What are all the ways you can see and feel this room is safe and cozy and there are no monsters? Let’s name them together.

Reinforce beliefs:
There are no monsters. We [the adults] always keep you safe. Tell that worry, everything is ok. Let’s say it together.

Build habits in low-stakes moments naming your worries and saying, I am worried, but I also know everything is going to be ok!

05/02/2026

No one is looking for “perfect.” When anyone is frightened, worried, or unsure, this is what they are seeking. Our clinical interventions for young children, like Circle of Security, talk about the need for grownups to be BSWK in order to affirm security.

But the truth is, this is a deeply human need lifelong. In the absence of it, people act out or suffer, in all kinds of ways.

We can offer one another security. No one need be perfect or have all the answers…but we must use what power we have where we have it to ensure care.

What is your power?

05/01/2026

I ran into this book a lot of years ago while training in the world-renowned early childhood mental health consultation model in New Orleans at the LSU medical school. It was immediately my favorite book about feelings!

The funny thing is that it doesn’t have a single emotion word in it… not one. Not “sad” or “happy” or “angry.” Instead, it has a bunch of examples of the flow from perception, to feeling, to behavior… sometimes I like to curl up in a ball so no one can see me because I’m so small. Sometimes I like to stand still as a tree, and watch everyone rush around me.

What’s the point of saying the emotion word, if you don’t really know that we are all the time feeling all kinds of ways in this world? Also, why say an emotion word to someone, who isn’t first curious about me and how I feel? Also… what if I can’t come up with the word…? Will you still try to understand me?

This is a book that builds the convo! Do you ever feel like this? I do. Here’s what I like to do sometimes when I feel a way…

04/24/2026

How we define the problem shapes how we respond.
If we focus only on “getting the child to separate,” we may miss what the child is struggling to manage.

Sometimes separation is not the problem.
It is where the problem becomes visible.

Instead of asking:
How do I make my child separate more easily?

Try asking:
What support does my child need to manage what feels hard right now?

That question often leads us closer to the real work.

Remember:
Attachment is not the obstacle to independence.
It is often the pathway to it.

Children grow independent not by losing support,
but by building confidence through it.

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Farmington Hills, MI

Website

http://myconvo.org/

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