10/10/2020
I remember it was a brisk March afternoon, we were on a family walk with our newborn baby twirls, cold beers in hand just enjoying the time being together in the open air. Finally out of the NICU walls. โฃ
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We were a street away from home, just about to round a turn when everything took a sudden shift. I snapped over a simple comment/question. Which led to one of the most impactful statements of my life. โฃ
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โAubrey, I love you and You need to get help. No one can carry on a conversation with you. No one can do anything right by you. Youโre not enjoyable to be around.โ โฃ
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I balled. I ran. โฃ
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Literally ran home. Grabbed my keys. Jumped into my car. And drove off to sit by myself. โฃ
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I left J and the twirls at home for over 3hrs while I just went to sit, cry, process, scream, question, and just be with God. โฃ
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& the next morning I called my OBGYN and she had me come in immediately. I told her I knew I didnโt have postpartum depression- I wasnโt sad, I didnโt feel hopeless, or alone- but I felt on edge all the time. Snappy. Irritated. Like no one got it or could do anything right. The only people I wanted to be around was my twirls. โฃ
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She listened and then introduced me to my new pal Postpartum Anxiety. Something I never knew even existed. And then she introโd our lifesaver Zoloft with a side of counseling (which came later, but wish Iโd added it sooner!). โฃ
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Listen yโall. Sometimes it takes hearing the hard truth from the people you love and trust the most. Sometimes it takes reaching out yourself. Whatever it takes- have no shame in it. โฃ
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Itโs time to stop the stigma attached to mental illnesses. Anyone can be affected at anytime. We should all show some grace and be a safety net to those walking that tightrope.