08/06/2026
Are therapists to blame for adults cutting off their parents?
The article cites a striking statistic: about 1/3 of estranged parents believe a therapist influenced or recommended the cutoff. But that measures parents’ beliefs about therapy sessions they did not attend. It does not tell us what the therapist actually said, whether estrangement was already being considered, or whether therapy caused the decision.
Most therapists are not sitting across from clients telling them, “You should stop speaking to your family.”
Ethical therapy is usually much less directive. We ask questions, identify patterns, explore consequences, and help clients decide what aligns with their values, safety, and wellbeing.
In rare, high-risk situations, we may be more direct about safety. Unethical therapists can also misuse their influence.
Sometimes parents minimize the harm their adult child experienced and blame the person who helped them establish firmer boundaries.
There may also be a generational shift: many younger adults are questioning the belief that loyalty and respect require them to tolerate harmful treatment indefinitely. What one generation considered “just how family is,” another may no longer be willing to accept.
Clients may also say, “My therapist told me to,” even when the decision was their own. Borrowing a therapist’s authority can make a painful, brave choice feel easier to defend.
None of this means therapy is beyond criticism. A therapist may reinforce one interpretation too quickly, magnify a client’s certainty, or contribute to a premature and extreme decision. Families may also feel excluded, or unfairly characterized.
Those possibilities deserve serious discussion. But so do the experiences of adults who spent years trying to repair relationships, communicate their pain, and establish boundaries before deciding that distance was necessary.
The better question is not, “Who is to blame?”
It is: Was the decision explored carefully, made freely, grounded in reality, and consistent with the person’s safety and long-term values?