12/17/2023
Back in 2014 when I started going through my autoimmune journey the WORST thing to face was slowly but surely losing my beautiful blonde hair. I would shower and it would literally fall out in my hands. I would look in the mirror at the patchy bald spots (especially in the front hairline and on the right side)..... and just sob in my husband's arms. I felt sooo ugly.
I tried hair extentions....then eventually I didn't have enough hair for that. I tried toppers...which looked unnatural. I faced so much with my autoimmune illness but the absolute worst was the psychological part of losing my hair. I went to so many doctors. I had so much testing done. I had so many blood draws. But the part I didn't speak about to most was the hair loss. I kept that close and private.
I am not sure why I felt I had to hide something that was caused by an autoimmune immune disorder-- but I did. People had no idea the inner struggle I was going through. It crushed my feelings when people would ask about "my wig"...and I would literally want to die. I would explain I didn't actually wear a wig...it was a topper to enhance my own sparce hair...but still. It was soooo hard psychologically.
Today I still battle my autoimmune disease that has taken my hair-- more than ever.
Losing their hair is a very hard thing for a woman to face.
But, I'm over it. I'm tired of hiding the hurt I face over an autoimmune disease that I can't help and I'm tired of facing psychological pain over losing my hair which I certainly cannot help. If people talk about my illness or my hair it says far more about them than me.
My husband and my boys have helped me soooo much to cope with this mentally and psychologically. After my mother's overdose and the 3rd deployment, I had lost more hair than ever.
When Doug came home from Kuwait he saw my struggle and pain. We ordered special human hair from Italy that was custom made for me through CR Labs with the help of my amazing hair stylist Tracy Grantham Cantrell at The Hair Replacement Studio. Tracy has been SO patient with me. She has worked with me tirelessly. She literally sat with me when I cried. She has listened. She has sat with me for hours and hours, and planned out custom made hair made just for me, exactly what I wanted, and we ordered it from Italy. It took 6 months to get here. She spent literally a week doing a custom color on my hair, which is gorgeous---and today we bonded it!!
What does bonding mean? A tiny top piece of the hair system is medically bonded to my scalp. I go in every few weeks and rebond it. I shower and wash the remainder of my scalp as normal.
I am SUPER excited to have undergone my hair transformation today. I have waited so long for this....to look normal.
My husband sat behind me at my appointment today and when I cried, got scared, nervous, wanted to back out, freak out...all the above, he was there to tell me "baby, it's ok!" HE IS THE BEST!!
Today was a good day, and I love my new hair.
My hair stylist, Tracy, has asked me to write my testimony so that she can use on her website and I will happily do that to help other women (and men) NOT be afraid to seek help with hair loss. The hair loss journey, is hard and devastating, and just pure hell. But when you think there is no hope, with the proper help it CAN be very beautiful, and full of joy.
I want to say it again. I battle a terrible autoimmune disease. It took my hair....but I am DONE hiding my hair loss. Today I am not afraid. Today, with the help of my awesome hairdresser and my husband, I have beautiful hair. ✌️
