Wholly Redefined Counseling & Therapy, PLLC

09/23/2026

So good!

09/21/2026

"I’m at the age in life where I have lost parents, siblings, and much more grievous, the person I was inside a family. I grieve the loss of each loved one, but as time goes on, I grieve the loss of the loving family life I was part of for most my life. It is one of the harder diminishments of aging to watch much of what I was and had, shrink and descend.

"As we age, the real task of life and love is to continually hand over, without bitterness, regret, or envy, all the things that were once so much our own (power, attention, popularity, usefulness, turf of every sort). Part of this, the hardest part of all, is forgiveness.

"Most every day, I sit and pray with a tropical hibiscus plant, a gift from a dear friend when my younger sister took her own life. The hibiscus is itself a model for living each day to the fullest with the bright colors of large showy flowers which end each day with gracious acceptance, folding up and letting go, dropping to the ground from which it began."

A beautiful reflection from a dear friend on death and the process of "diminishment" in life

A Patient Willing Descent In memory of Wendell Berry and all my lost loved ones A loss of anything, a loved one, job, friend, home, although mostly inevitable and part of living in a transient worl…

09/07/2026

Your True Self can never be broken.

The mind may be broken, the body may be broken, the heart may be broken. Your True Self is deeper than all.

At your core, you are spirit—breathed to life by God. No one can take this away from you. No trauma, no mental illness, no debilitating autoimmune disease. No psychotic episodes, no mental breakdowns, no hospital stays. No matter what you've been through, your True Self is still there. You can be redeemed, and you can be made whole.

At everyone's core, they are an image bearer of the Most High God. And no one, and nothing, can ever take that away.

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." — Romans 8:38-39 NLT

08/31/2026

The three needs we have in relationships are to be:
- Connected
- Protected
- Respected

If we are connected, but not protected or respected, we are likely in an abusive relationship.

If we are connected and protected, but not respected, we are likely in an insidiously coercive or controlling relationship.

If we are connected and respected, but not protected, we may feel like our partner isn't really willing to stick their neck out for us. This may manifest around difficult boundary-setting scenarios with in-laws or in other situations where, while we know they love us, we sure wish we could feel like they're looking out for our well-being.

If we are protected but not connected or respected, we are cut off, isolated, and basically imprisoned inside our own "relationship."

If we are protected and respected but not connected, we are likely in a relationship in which we are being "put on a pedestal." It's lonely up there, and most of us are afraid of heights.

If we are protected and connected, but not respected, we may feel like our partner doesn't really believe in us. They might honor us publicly, but behind closed doors, do they really take our perspective into account? Or are they always the one making all the decisions and assuming they know best?

If we are respected but not connected or protected, we likely feel like we are carrying all the weight of the relationship. We may put on a good face in public but feel a deep emptiness and loneliness inside.

If we are respected and connected but not protected, we are likely the one everyone depends on. Which can feel really good sometimes. But who's looking out for us? We're there when others need us, but who's there when we're in need? And are we even able/willing to admit when we are?

If we are respected and protected but not connected, all we know is hierarchy. We know how to treat those "below us" and those "above us," but do we have anyone we truly feel "same-same" with? I see you, and you see me—equally?

If we have respect, connection, and protection in our relationships, this is love. This is relationality. This way of being gets us out of hierarchy, out of loneliness, and into authenticity and joyful presence.

08/31/2026

Emotional abuse can be just as if not more devastating to our physical health as actual physical abuse...and sometimes it can go on for longer undetected because it is so insidious and confusing.

08/30/2026

God is not afraid of questions ❤️

If my religion is true, it will stand up to all my questioning; there is no need to fear. But if it is not true, if it is man imposing strictures on God (as did the men of the Christian establishment of Galileo’s day), then I want to be open to God, not to what man says about God. I want to be open to revelation, to new life, to new birth, to new light.
~Walking on Water

08/26/2026

Lightning may meet in the middle, but the process is always initiated in the cloud. The earth responds to what is happening in the cloud.

So it is when heaven invades earth.

When we pray "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven," we are aligning with the heartbeat of God.

Earth responds, and the world is illuminated.

Romans 8 teaches us that "we can't out-groan God." Whatever changes we long to see—when we see pain, unrighteousness, injustice, cycles of poverty reigning on the earth that we long to see transformed into peace, justice, and abundance—when we pray, even if we can't find words, the Spirit groans right along with us.

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies." — Romans 8:22-23

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." — Romans 8:26

When you pray, you are partnering with God to create lightning upon the earth. Lightning that illuminates the darkness. That, with it, brings rain to refresh the earth. That testifies to all creation that a good, loving God is watching over them, and that he is near to any who call on him.

08/24/2026

Fascinating article. What if the blanket term "schizophrenia" is often describing two very different conditions with two very different recommended types of treatment?

"Up to 80% of people diagnosed with schizophrenia have histories of severe childhood trauma.
The “origin story” a patient tells about their symptoms often reveals whether trauma or genetics is the primary driver.
Trauma survivors who hear voices often describe spirits and possession; their symptoms may actually be dissociated parts of themselves.
Understanding this distinction changes everything about treatment—and makes recovery possible for many who were told they’d be sick forever."

"A clinical social worker's exploration of how childhood trauma can produce symptoms indistinguishable from schizophrenia, and why this distinction matters for treatment and recovery."

08/21/2026

This recovery group running September-December looks amazing! 12 steps, yoga, meditation, breathwork, journaling...here for ALL OF IT