04/19/2024
There is a beautiful, mad genius to the reality of ‘no guarantees’.
We set out whole-heartedly with our visions, hopes and dreams not knowing what will happen, if anything. We believe. We try. We love. When things turn out we celebrate. When they don’t we may rage, blame, numb out, or collapse. Or perhaps we simply grieve for a time and let it go into the compost pile.
Things go our way and we are happy. Things don’t go our way and we are miserable. Yet there is something else beyond this dualistic way of seeing—something deeper than happiness or misery. Sometimes succeeding can be our failure. Sometimes failing can be our success. There is often no rhyme or reason to outcome. Something larger seems to be at play, beyond conceivability.
Something keeps us going. Something keeps us hoping and dreaming and trying. Something for which succeeding and failing are inconsequential. It seems to be oriented around something deeply true and ever-present. It seems to have its own wisdom. It carries grace. It is whole just as it is. It contains light and dark equally.
I’ve noticed that what keeps emerging from the manure pile of ups and downs and especially through the failings, is some ever-green part of myself that is determined to find its way. It simply wants to live and thrive. It insists. Persists. It knows no other way.
It feels like it comes from a place that is larger than myself. Perhaps this is how earth and star live and move in me. In all of us. We are, after all, made of earth and star.
Something in me knows that there is nothing else to do but keep going with as much of my wholeness as I can, knowing fully that it will be hard and my heart will break. Yet I will be fully alive. My soul shows me the depths of things I would never have seen had I turned my back. My spirit sings with wren, rises with sun and breeches with whale when I allow it to lead. Much is learned and I will continue to discover and become more human through it all, regardless of outcome.
Even when I don’t know which way is up and there is no hope is in sight, something refuses to quit. It comes back again and again, and yes, again. It searches, dreams, wanders and wonders in sheer delight of what might be possible. It won’t stop at anything, at least not for long. Occasionally it takes time out at a source so deep, I forget that it exists for a while. Sometimes I begin to worry that it finally has given up and there is nothing left to hope for. Until once again it emerges with a direction so clear and so compelling, I wish for nothing else but follow. For the privilege of seeing what happens next.
I share this latest blog below in the honor of spring, hope and the beautiful, mad genius no guarantees…
The Way of Innocence and the Greening of Soul “The traveler knows nothing but the road, the guide knows nothing but the stars: The world tree stands between them, marking the center of the world.”1 Like a seed shattering to become itself, some part of us knows that in order to evolve the st