Kristina J. Chomick, LMFT, Therapy, Supervision & Consulting Services

08/11/2026

It's actually not just kinda, but VERY chic to focus on YOU and your own work while you are helping your clients. So what are you waiting for? Order your copy of Exploring Self today!

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06/29/2026

Have you checked out this amazing raffle calendar yet? Get yours today and support CTAMFT!

Just TWO more days to get in on the FUN and support the work that the CT Association for Marriage and Family Therapy does ALL YEAR LONG!

For just $20 you get 31 chances to WIN - and yes you can win more than once! That $20 will go a LONG way to support advocacy and education to support MFTs and Mental Health Professionals across the state!

Get yours today at https://www.shopctamft.com/ or contact a board member to find out more!

06/24/2026

06/23/2026

Growing and changing are not the same thing.

Growing is becoming more of who you already are. It’s deepening your understanding of yourself. Building on your strengths. Developing new skills. Expanding your capacity to love, cope, connect, and heal. Growth often feels like roots stretching deeper into the ground.

Changing is different. Changing is becoming something different than before. It’s letting go of old beliefs. Shifting priorities. Creating new patterns. Choosing a different path when the old one no longer fits.

We need both.

If we only focus on growth, we may hold too tightly to old versions of ourselves that no longer serve us.

If we only focus on change, we may lose sight of the parts of ourselves that are worth nurturing and preserving.

Life asks us to do both:
Grow into who we are. And change when who we have been is no longer who we need to be.

The beauty of being human is that we are constantly doing both at the same time.

🌱 What part of you is growing right now?
🌸 What part of you is changing?

06/20/2026

Love this crafty therapist crew!

06/19/2026

Sometimes one of the hardest parts of loving someone is witnessing the wounds they carry from childhood.

You see the ways they doubt themselves. The ways they struggle to trust.
The ways they protect themselves, shut down, people-please, or react from places of hurt. And sometimes, those wounds show up in your relationship.

During an argument, it can be easy to find yourself feeling angry, not just at the situation in front of you, but at the people who helped create the pain your partner is still carrying.

You may find yourself thinking:

“If they had been loved differently…”
“If they had felt safer…”
“If someone had protected them…”
“Maybe they wouldn’t be hurting this much today.”

There is a unique grief in loving someone and seeing the impact of what they didn’t receive. But healing rarely comes from directing all of our energy toward the past. It comes from recognizing that while we can’t change what happened, we can help create something different now.

A relationship can’t rewrite someone’s childhood. But it can become a place where new experiences of love, safety, acceptance, and connection begin to take root. And sometimes, that’s where healing starts.

06/16/2026

So often my clients my clients struggle leaving relationships that are unhealthy for them or no longer serve them because of how long they have been together. Often they say, "but we have so much history together".

Having history together CAN be a wonderful thing. Being with someone who understands you, knows why you are how you are, knows where you came from, knows your scars, all of that can be a wonderful thing. And, being with someone who has caused your scars, or just being with someone with whom your story has ended in general and who no longer is on the same page as you just because of that shared history can lead to sadness and resentment.

So, just because you have history is not a reason to stay together. You need to reflect on if you want to keep writing the rest of your story with that person too.

06/10/2026

I recently had a conversation in a session where a client tried to defend their criticism of someone by saying that they always thought critical thinking was a good thing.

But, being critical and using critical thinking are not the same thing, and in some ways they are actually opposites of one another.

Being critical often starts with judgment.
It looks for flaws.
It assumes there is a right answer and a wrong answer.
It can leave us feeling defensive, ashamed, or disconnected.

Critical thinking, on the other hand, starts with curiosity.

It asks:
✨ What am I missing?
✨ What other perspectives exist?
✨ What evidence supports this?
✨ How might someone else experience this differently?
✨ What can I learn here?

Being critical tears down.

Critical thinking explores.

One closes the conversation.
The other opens it.

In relationships, being critical can sound like:
“You always do this wrong.”

Critical thinking sounds like:
“I wonder what’s happening here and how we got stuck in this pattern.”

In our own minds, being critical sounds like:
“I should have known better.”

Critical thinking sounds like:
“What can I learn from this experience?”

Many of us were taught that criticism makes us smarter, stronger, or more prepared. But often, criticism simply makes us more afraid of making mistakes.

Growth doesn’t require constant self-judgment.
It requires reflection, curiosity, and the willingness to consider that there may be more than one truth in the room.

The next time you catch yourself being critical of yourself or someone else ask yourself:

Am I judging, or am I trying to understand?

The answer can change everything.

06/08/2026

I know this is going to be a hot take but as a therapist, I just gotta say it. Not everything is "therapy". I LOVE that you do your self-care and that it helps your mental health, but it's NOT therapy.

Going for a walk isn’t therapy.
Getting a massage isn’t therapy.
Spending time with friends isn’t therapy.
Getting your favorite treat isn't therapy.
Reading a book isn’t therapy.
Taking a nap isn’t therapy.

Those things can be incredibly valuable. They can help regulate your nervous system, reduce stress, bring joy, foster connection, and improve your overall well-being.

But they’re not therapy.

Therapy is a specific process that involves intentional exploration, insight, skill-building, and healing within a therapeutic relationship. It is one tool among many that can support your mental health.

The problem with calling everything “therapy” is that we sometimes lose sight of the fact that self-care, community, movement, creativity, rest, and pleasure are important in their own right. They don’t need to be therapy to be worthwhile.

You don’t have to justify every activity by proving it’s productive or therapeutic.

Sometimes a walk is just a walk.
Sometimes laughter is just laughter.
Sometimes rest is just rest.

And those things matter too.