07/05/2020
Just Sayin’
Parents Getting Real
THE CALL
“All schools will be canceled for the two weeks leading up to Spring Break…” the message said. We received the recorded message on the afternoon of Friday, March 13. So I did what every responsible parent would do - I hightailed it to Binny's. I put an order online and before my son could walk in the door at 2:30 pm I had stocked my freezer with Belvedere Vodka and Casamigos Reposado. Wasn’t going into this extended Spring Break unprepared!
THE STORM
So life took a u-turn for our five boys. My college son was home on Spring Break when his classes went online and he never went back to school. My senior - this was a never-ending ditch day for him! My freshman - super happy - no more school, his grades couldn’t go down! My younger two kids were excited for the three weeks off, although they didn’t really completely grasp the enormity of what was happening.
The emotions in our house ranged from fear to “this can’t happen to me I’m young!” I had spent the weeks leading up to this stating I am not a “panic sort of person” and then started to regret my words as panic started to creep in. Life all of a sudden was out of control. We didn’t see our families, work became more stressful. Everyone was home - all the time.
To say there was no structure would be an understatement. The kids were playing video games more than normal, watched Netflix and stayed up late. I finally reconciled that their lives were in disarray so we gave them flexibility with their usual structure. It was a three week Spring Break (which lasted three months) sans friends. Two of the boys were working, which in itself was a source of anxiety. When they got home we put their clothes in garbage bags and they went straight in the shower. The little kids stayed in - playing video games mostly. On a nice day they shot baskets outside. Everyone slept late and moved in slow motion. Where were we going anyway?
When e-learning started, a small amount of structure was put in place. The kids had to be up and at the table at 10:00 am ready to do their work. They set their alarms, had zoom meetings with teachers and finished their assignments. Once that was done they were free to do as they wished within reason. They cleaned (a lot) and did some projects. We didn’t know what the future would hold, but in the mist of all the confusion and fear, a silver lining slowly appeared.
THE RAINBOW
Instead of most of us eating dinner at 4:00 pm before running off to baseball or basketball, dinner was at 6:00 pm with our whole family. Two of my boys honed their cooking skills, even going so far as to take breakfast orders in the morning. Dinner was more extensive as we had time to prepare it. They cleaned (not always willingly), did their laundry and asked “mom do you need anything?” before they moved on to their next activity. My two oldest experienced the real world as the grocery stores had many online orders due to fear and my son who works in a restaurant saw people he cares about struggle and try to survive during the shut down. My son in college was now home and my high school senior spent more time with us than he would have - had life been the same. This was time I would never get back - and for that, I am grateful.
So many lives were turned upside down and a lot of lives were lost or forever changed. Financially some people will not survive. And the loneliness some experienced was overwhelming. I read somewhere that we were all in the same storm but not in the same boat. This could not be more true. However, for us, this emergency brought us back to the way things were, as a family, around the table. We sat around talking and laughing. If the laundry didn’t get done, there was always tomorrow. We watched movies with the boys and played board games. Going to school, travel sports and hanging out with friends couldn’t happen. But the one thing we were left with was time. Time for each other, to sit around and chat, to read a book uninterrupted. To just be - together.
By Gina Gattuso
Photos by Ryan Susan Thorne-Devin
