08/10/2026
I’ve been thinking about the difference between the way we handled hurt growing up and the way we handle it now.
When I was growing up, the answer was often: suck it up, get over it, don’t talk about it, and keep going.
And I’m not saying that was healthy. It wasn’t. A lot of people buried pain they probably should have dealt with.
But sometimes I wonder if the pendulum swung so far in the opposite direction that it never really settled.
Today, we’re much better at saying:
“That hurt me.”
“That wasn’t okay.”
“My feelings matter.”
“I need boundaries.”
And those are GOOD things.
But somewhere along the way, I think we sometimes stopped asking, “How do I heal from this?” and started asking, “How do I make sure no one ever hurts me like this again?”
So we remember every offense. We build walls. We cut people off. We hold onto the hurt because it starts to feel like protection.
But Jesus never taught us to pretend we weren’t hurt…and He also never taught us to make a home there.
He calls us to forgive.
Not because what happened was okay.
Not because everyone deserves access to us.
Not because reconciliation is always possible or wise.
But because there’s a difference between having boundaries around your life and building walls around your heart.
Maybe the generation before us was taught:
“Your pain doesn’t matter. Get over it.”
Our generation learned:
“Your pain matters. Name it.”
But maybe Jesus is calling us further:
Your pain matters. Bring it to Me. Let Me heal it. And then let it go.
Acknowledging our wounds is important.
But carrying them forever was never the goal.
Healing is.
