06/08/2026
At Walt's Waltz, we start with education. Assumptions can lead to bias as we believe, we assume without a pause to reflect which can lead to bias.
"I'm Not Arguing—I'm Trying to Understand"
One of the most frustrating experiences for many neurodivergent people is being misunderstood when they're simply asking questions.
A neurotypical conversation often treats clarification as disagreement. But for many people with ADHD, Autism, or AuDHD, clarification is how understanding happens in the first place.
When a neurodivergent person asks:
"Why?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Can you explain that differently?"
they're often not challenging your opinion.
They're gathering information.
They're trying to make sure they understood correctly before responding.
The problem is that curiosity can sometimes be mistaken for confrontation.
What feels like a genuine attempt to understand can be interpreted as skepticism, defensiveness, or an argument. After enough experiences like that, many neurodivergent people start questioning whether it's safe to ask questions at all.
But understanding usually comes before agreement.
And clarification is often a sign of engagement, not conflict.
Some people listen to respond.
Others listen to understand.
Many neurodivergent people are simply trying to make sure the conversation is built on the same information before moving forward.
So the next time someone asks for clarification, consider that they may not be arguing with you.
They may be showing you that they're paying closer attention than anyone else in the room.
