05/17/2026
Parents often ask me, “How can he have Attention Deficit Disorder when he can play with Legos for eight straight hours?”
I tell parents that I think of Attention Deficit Disorder as “Attention Control Deficit Disorder” (other specialists have dubbed it Attention Dysregulation Disorder).
Kids with ADD do not control their attention; their attention controls them. When they are highly interested in a task (such as a video game or a Lego model), the house could be burning down and they would not move. However, if they are not interested in a task (especially repetitive, mundane tasks like math problems), they cannot apply their attention just at your request. The fact that your child can focus so deeply on some activities does not mean that “she could do better if she tried” on others.
There is a lot of natural variation in attention spans. Let’s think anthropology for a second. It was adaptive in some societies or groups to have a lot of energy, be willing to take risks, and to act quickly (like early hunters). Complex societies need people with different skill sets and temperaments to hold different roles. It is not surprising that a high activity level is now a problem in a society that wants all children to sit quietly in a classroom for several hours a day.
However, AD/HD is not just a cultural or social problem related to changes in what we expect of children. True AD/HD is a physiological issue with neurological underpinnings. The neurological profiles vary from person to person and can be complicated by other factors (discussed in depth in the book).
Basically, however, AD/HD (or ADD) is just the way that some brains work, while for others, it is due to injury or illness. There is a huge range to the types of attention problems that are out there. It can be hard to see where to draw the line between normal and abnormal – and often it is not a line, but a broad, gray area.
Whether you consider it a disorder or just a style of learning and being, ADHD can be a real problem. Children can struggle socially and academically, leading to complicating issues of chronic anxiety and low self-esteem. For children with moderate to severe attention problems, challenges continue through teen years and into adulthood. Finishing school does not necessarily solve these problems; adults can continue having trouble focusing at work or keeping their lives on track.
If attention problems or hyperactivity are disrupting your child’s life, then intervention may truly be necessary.
Its all in the book :)
Go From Overwhelmed to Empowered “This has quickly become my favorite book for kids’ learning and behavioral problems. It has left me feeling so grounded and clear about the order in which to tackle everything, in contrast to so many books that have left me feeling
