10/19/2026
Betrayal. Some of the best stories have this shocking plot point where the person you least expect, turns out to be the villain. The more cozy and comely the character, the more tragic the treachery! Faithful readers, today I reveal a horrific “whodunit” worthy of the most heinous Hitchcock.
As winter approaches, and temps mercifully diminish, my clinic fills with sinus congestion and “scratchy throats.” Sure, there are fall/winter pollens to account for some of this and Homecoming dances where boyfriends and girlfriends must’ve drank from the same cup to have matching strep throats, right? But there’s a covert culprit hiding in plain sight. Ready for the reveal….your beloved BED TIME FAN. (*cue the “dun dun dun” reveal music)
Somnologists (doctors who study sleep) don’t have an exact number of Americans who sleep with a fan on, but just a simple survey of you asking the folks in the room with you at any given moment, you'll see how common this practice is. You, reading this and nodding your head, adds to the evidence.
The problem is simple, yet layered: temps are dropping in the winter, colder air holds less humidity which contributes to drying out your mucus membranes (both nasal passages AND in your mouth and throat). Add a fan that’s BLOWING this dry, cool air and you are a snoring Sahara sandpit. Well, by God’s amazing design the body senses dryness and says “hey, we’re dry. Let’s secrete gunk!” Pow. You are a congestiony, stuffy, scratchy-throaty mess. And all because, to quote you (probably) “I just HAVE to have my fan at night.”
But, do you? Somnologists theorize that many people are not actually addicted to a fan at night, rather the NOISE it makes. One neat study, showed patients fell asleep 50% faster with simple white noise as compared to a fan. Perhaps you only need a noise maker. Besides the one you married, I mean.
Otherwise, if you are truly that hot-natured person who must have air circulating, perhaps not having it blow DIRECTLY at your open, drooling mouth may help? Or a simple, THIN cloth face mask over your nose and mouth to allow air, yet give a “warming layer” for the air intake.
OR you can attempt to add humidity back to the air. Home humidifiers are a large market with various options. Old school home remedies include a pan of water near your heat source, hanging damp towels on a rack in your bedroom and simple adding houseplants. Sadly, these options help, but have a hard time counteracting the leaf blower you have pointed at you.
Look, do what you like. I’m not your Daddy. Just pointing out the obvious saboteur in your most intimate setting. Why am I so congested and my throat so scratchy this time of year? The villain may be on your night stand. Heck, say “I am your father” directly into it and you’ll even sound like Darth Vader.
Yours in Health and Christ, Dr. Kirk