10/17/2026
October Newsletter: Avoiding Holiday Family Drama
Hello JK Therapy Fans,
If you haven’t been celebrating the Holidays with your family this fall, your turn for family fun and stress is coming, with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's around the corner! Christmas tree lightings, hot chocolate by the fire, and watching “The Polar Express” in Santa pajamas are all joyous events to look forward to this 2026 Holiday Season. Though the season can bring wonderful memories, it can also be stressful. Instead of being unhappy when difficult family dynamics snowball, be prepared!
Common Holiday Stressors:
1. When family members ask inappropriate questions and/or cross boundaries.
2. The struggle to manage family’s opinions on how you should allocate your time.
Inappropriate Questions and Boundary Crossing
What do these questions sound like? These questions may come from a caring place but come across as critical. They focus on relationship status, fertility plans, career progress, body image, or financial standing. Other questions trigger feelings of judgment, inadequacy, or violate personal autonomy: “Why are you eating that?” Why do you live in NJ when our family is all here in Pennsylvania?”
Remedy – Prepare yourself to feel defensive, upset, and annoyed by these questions and remarks, however, do not let these interactions take away from your holiday experience. Normalize the comments. Use the technique of self-talk- “the inner dialogue you have with yourself that can boost how you feel or act.” For Example: “This is what they do to show love for me, and to be loved is a blessing.”
Schedule Tug-of-War and Loyalty Conflicts
The second common conflict: “Everyone wants a piece of the pie.” Your in-laws want to be with their son or daughter. Your parents want you to come to their house first. Divorced parents compete for time with their children and grandchildren. Everyone has competing demands as to where, when, and how you spend your time over the holidays. Caution! Many times, these desires come across as manipulative. “If you loved us, you would come for dinner, not just dessert.” Again, remember to normalize these comments and use words of encouragement/ self-talk to soothe your emotions. Example: “She just want to spend as much time with me as she can. She loves fiercely.”
Secondly, make a plan/ schedule. It is your holiday season! Do not fall into peer pressure. You will regret putting others’ desires ahead of your own.
Remember, we teach people how to treat us! You are teaching your loved ones how to respect your boundaries this season. Get out of the rut of falling for the common stressors of the holiday season by being prepared so you can have the happiest holiday ever!
You got this! Always here to help.
Jessica
