09/09/2026
As many of you know, August 12, 2026 I lost my beloved husband, Brendon.
All days are hard, but some are more challenging than others. My whole identity has changed. I was the Vanessa with Brendon, and now I am the Vanessa after Brendon‘s death. I’m learning all the facets of what that actually means. It’s so very complex.
I ask for continued grace in these moments. I have not been able to attend to you as my heart had desired—for right now, my heart is troubled. I am living through the nightmare of my husband taking his life and picking up the myriad of pieces left behind.
After his service Sept 12th, I will be making plans to slowly attempt to return to midwifery. I will see clients postpartum and add in some prenatal visits for those close to their due window in hopes to attend as primary or assistant midwife at their births. Bren was the person behind the midwife. He upheld our home in every way when I was away tending to you. My children might need me to walk beside them in a moment of their grief or my own wave of grief will drag me to the ocean current and I may need to send another midwife in my place or reschedule.
Please be kind, but honest. If something is not working for you, please speak up.
I plan to learn to live through this next year with gentleness and raw authenticity, and grace.
Services are open to the public if you truly feel lead to attend (a few clients have been asking). This is not a funeral. It is a celebration of life. There are no calling hours. It’s just come as you are, hear, see, experience the love of the man behind the midwife.
